Joke's on You
by Silent Magi
Summary: Sometimes it only takes one bad day, let's find out what happens after Naruto had one bad day too many, and how Konoha will cope.
1. Prologue

This story is a teamwork between Gouken 2010 and myself, and any likenesses to existing stories, or plot-lines is purely coincidental. If you know of others that have done similar, please let me know privately so that we may enjoy the insanity.

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Joke's on You**

A Naruto fanfiction by Sailor Ranger with help by Gouken 2010

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Batman, Naruto, nor any of the characters and appearances that are used in this fiction based on the characters of those universes. All credit goes to those original owners._

_Sometimes life does not go your way, sometimes it does. The key to surviving and remaining sane is often just keeping from focusing on the bad days, and instead keep thinking about the good ones. Sadly no one told Naruto Uzumaki this, and now all he has is one day of hell, one day that will be forever remembered as the day Konoha doomed itself; all because of __**one bad day.**_

Naruto grumbled angrily as he stormed back into the apartment, today had been a horrid day. Not only at the academy, but also afterwards, and late into the evening. The only thing that made it decent enough to live through was that there were no people living in the apartment building, meaning that he was free of more aggravation for the night. He wanted to make them all pay, especially that Sasuke, the so called genius and last of the Uchiha clan. He was just so infuriating! Slamming himself into the couch, he growled lowly and cataloged what few instructional scrolls he had left. Most of which had been destroyed by Sasuke showing off with his stupid katon jutsu. Didn't he know how fucking expensive they were?

His thoughts were torn away from him, as the couch let out a loud crack and he was sent sprawling backwards. Picking himself up, he looked at the hopelessly beat up couch, and noticed something odd in the bottom. Reaching out he began pulling out sheets of strange paper, they were all shiny, full of colors, and it showed the most interesting character.

Putting together the pages, he found that it was from some ancient manga, and that most of the words had faded. In fact, most of the story seemed to revolve around the antics of one person. A man with a white face and bright red lips, and neon green hair, strode through the pages in his purple suit, orange shirt, and green vest and bow tie. He could only tell that the man was pulling pranks on people with weird weapons that seemed to explode at one end, and he was winning. Even without the words, he could tell this man was completely winning over everyone. He even had a hot woman in red and black on his shoulder. She had similar face paint on, but her eyes had an extra black patch over them creating something of a mask.

However, the cover had one word he could make out, despite being half missing. 'The Joker Pranks Back' was all he could make out. Now Naruto knew how to prank, and if this man could do it, then why couldn't he an awesome ninja in training do so as well?

Thinking about it, he smiled widely, his lips curling into the image of the Joker's own grin. A hand seal later, he called out "HENGE" and reappeared in a perfect replica of the man in the book. Running his hand through his green hair, he let out a manic laugh that filled the empty apartment building. He had some things to set up, but soon everyone would fear the name of 'The Joker', and nothing would ever be the same again.

This was going to be fun!


	2. Chapter 1

It had been three long and productive months since Naruto had found the nearly destroyed manga in his couch cushions. Since that day, the Joker had begun to make a name for himself. At first he had started with small, harmless pranks, but as the months went by he grew bolder, and more daring, knowing that even the mighty ANBU were powerless to stop him. He had even started leaving his calling card of his face drawn in the center with the words 'The Joker' on them so that they knew who to blame. And every morning he would hear the gossiping villagers talking about the new menace in town, and even how they had even forgotten all about him. Well, at least he'd learned that when they said 'demon brat' in that tone they were talking about him at least.

Perking up his ears, he heard them talking about the Joker's latest prank. He had left Sasuke Uchiha bound and gagged naked at the door of an Akamichi fangirl that happened to have a birthday last night. He even attached a lovely note in which Sasuke professed his undying love to said large girth girl, and that he was going to be her present forever more.

Rumor was that the ANBU and her parents had to promise her triple desserts for a month to release the genius, and even then it was not before he had been molested by her. It might have been less obvious if he hadn't used one of his cards to leave the note. But when one is a master forger, well... let's just say some people don't check things as well as they should.

Further, they were still talking about how he had gotten all of the Inuzuka dogs running rampant through the streets of Konoha after a horde of cats had passed through their kennels, and of the time he managed to glue all of the ANBU to the ceiling and walls, after removing their floors the night before. He had walked right into ANBU headquarters, slammed his card down on the first desk he came to, and began laughing like a madman. The chase from that point was short lived as he easily outdistanced all of the stuck ANBU with ease. A lot of them were even laughing with him after he'd dosed them with this laughing gas he had gotten the recipe for out of the manga.

The manga had even pointed him to an ancient book in the library entitled 'The Joke's on You' by R. U. Joe King. The librarian took one look at the musty old tome and told him he could have it for five ryuu. The money had been pressed into the librarian's hand and he had the book out the door before even a minute had passed. From what he had read, it was hundreds of prank ideas from the real live Joker himself, over a million years ago! And it was just sitting there, waiting for some lucky reader to find it.

But for now, Naruto had to hurry along to the academy, where he snatched up a seat in the back-most corner of the room, carefully chosen away in a closed off corner, so that the teacher Iruka wouldn't have any reason to move him. And he began studying what appeared to be a basic ninjutsu scroll, but was in fact notes he had taken carefully on what King-san had talked about in the book. With his henge down pat, even the most skilled ninja had trouble seeing through it, which was odd since he'd read that the henge was supposed to be easy to see through. He'd also read that it wasn't supposed to be an actual physical change, but the fact he did it just meant that he was that much more of an awesome ninja and prankster, didn't it?

He didn't know it, but today wasn't going to be his usual routine. In fact, tonight's prank was going to change a lot of things in Konoha.

Out of the entire population of Konoha, there was one person that suspected Naruto of being the Joker, after all he'd only been seen elsewhere in Konoha a few of the times. And many of the pranks were done on people who had been especially mean to Naruto-kun the day before. She knew this because for many years now she had been performing observational reconnaissance training by stal... err following the object of her deepest crush throughout his day. Ever since the first day of academy when he had smiled that dazzling smile of his, and asked if she'd like some of the cinnamon roll he'd gotten from the Hokage in exchange for some of her ramen.

She had moved when he did from the front row of the class to the back row with him, but she always left a few chairs between them, mostly for her nerves. Any closer and she'd start blushing, and subtly using her byakugan from behind a scroll to peek at Naruto in ways that the woman she had come to consider a mother figure, Kurenai Yuhi, would not approve of. Though the woman that visited Kurenai often would probably approve of it, but she scared Hinata, especially the way she had snakes that would slither out of her sleeve and into Kurenai's wraps. It seemed like Kurenai didn't like it because she'd start blushing and moaning for Anko to "Don't" and to "Stop", and then she'd let out a cry of some sort.

A week ago, she had been leaving the main house, when she saw him: The Joker, in all his manic glory. He had been holding something that looked like a rope, which ran back to the main house. He saw her and smiled widely at her with that same completely unhinged Naruto had worn in his darkest days. He had waved her over, signaling her to be quiet at the same time.

He'd held out the rope, and explained that it would release several dozen stink-bombs throughout the entire main house, with his card carried along the gaseous pressure wave. Mixed in for good measure were canisters of his new laughing gas. He wanted to know if she'd like to pull the prank for him. Biting her lower lip, she had taken the rope and looked at the main house, thinking about how she had been belittled and made fun of her entire life. In a moment of clarity she gave the rope a firm yank and started running with the Joker, even joining in his laughter.

After they had gotten somewhere secluded, the Joker held out one of his cards. "Something to remember me by babe," was all he said before taking off. The card was different than any other she'd seen before. On one side was the standard Joker emblem, but on the flip side was a faded picture of two people. One was the Joker, but with him was this woman that had on a red and black spandex uniform and a white face with a black mask over her eyes.

A little browsing on Ninjapedia, had turned up an interesting find. Apparently there once was a type of jesters named 'harlequins' that dressed in such a fashion, and there were ancient languages from before the Elemental Nations that were very close to that title. 'Harley' and 'Quinn' were apparently both female names, and both able to be used as a family name.

On that day she had decided that if Hinata Hyuuga couldn't approach Naruto Uzumaki, then maybe it was time for Harley Quinn to approach The Joker. Smiling quietly, she began drawing up the designs for the outfit behind her scrolls, never noticing a pair of shaded eyes next to her watching what she was drawing.

As these two were very far away, down in the front row, where the wall between the windows cast a shadow over him, so that he could brood properly. After all, proper lighting was important in the brooding process. Sasuke glared at the chalkboard twenty-two point five-nine-seven-three-two-five feet in front of him, and brooded on the man that had replaced his brother at the first he had to kill in revenge list. The Joker.

That vile, conniving, and twisted bastard had dumped in at one of his biggest (physically number 1, enthusiastically number 10, emotionally damaging number 4) fangirls, with a note saying that HE, Sasuke Uchiha, was to be her gift for her birthday. And to make it worse he had forged his penmanship to do it.

He knew that the shinobi forces of Konoha had failed to capture the masked maniac, so maybe it was time to take matters into his own hands. But how? How did one fight a man that drove him absolutely batty?

As the top two annoying fangirls began shrieking in his ear about sitting next to him, his eye began twitching. He knew he'd have to add a mask to keep the unholy legions of girls that wanted to do unspeakable things to his body away. And probably pick some intimidating thing to base his disguise off of, so that they wouldn't try and come after him to find out who he really was. A snake? No, too much phallic representation there, and he was pretty sure there was still a snake summoner in Konoha. Most other animals were taken by the ANBU and he didn't want to be brought in for impersonating them. What was left?

"And then this bat flew out of the tree and right at me!" the pink haired fangirl idiot said to the blonde mind jutsu fangirl idiot, "I was so freaked out I screamed and ran back in the house!"

"I can imagine," the blonde one responded with a shiver, "Bats just creep me out!"

And thus Sasuke got an idea, a wonderful, awful idea. A bat... there were no bat ANBU, and if he did the sewing himself, he could have a costume ready as early as next week. And then in a week, Batman would strike terror into that clown's heart, and he'd be the one laughing then. Oh yes, he let out a victorious smirk, ignoring the fangirl squeals it produced in favor of the ringing in his ears from said shriek. Maybe he could find a way to turn this into a weapon.

This was a day the population of Konoha was going to learn to dread, should they ever figure out what had been born that day in an innocent looking classroom at the ninja academy, where young children came to learn to kill people.

Anyone with the least grip on psychology might have seen this coming a mile away, but since no one does, it's never touched on.


	3. Chapter 2

Naruto smirked as he looked around the room, so many here were going to pass their finals to become shinobi. But not he, no his plan was to flunk the bunshin portion of the exam. This being his third try, he'd wash out of the shinobi ranks and be able to disappear from public view. Maybe he could get a nice job cleaning for Interrogation before disappearing in an 'accident' and emerging as the Joker forever.

He did however notice that there was a couple faces missing from the room, which was odd, since they were among the most promising members of this year. First there was Sasuke Uchiha, who Naruto would have sworn would have been here if he had to drag himself in at death's door. And then there was Shino Aburame, whom he couldn't remember a single day that he'd been sick. Something was going on, and for once he didn't think this was a joke he was going to like.

Sure enough, when Iruka came in, he had a confused look on his face. "Alright class, Sasuke Uchiha is out with a highly contagious sickness, and Shino Aburame's insects have come down with some odd sickness. Due to these two facts, we are cancelling classes for a week, and sending all of you to the hospital for a checkup. Your parents will pick you up there should you check out alright; otherwise you're going into a lockdown."

Naruto frowned as he and the class was shuffled along. Something wasn't right with this, but he was fairly certain he'd check out cleanly. After all, he managed to be missing in the last twelve highly contagious outbreak cases; this one shouldn't be any different.

In the end, all but nine total students had been quarantined. Sasuke Uchiha and Shino Aburame were in their clan's homes with people to attend to them. Naruto Uzumaki, Kiba Inuzuka, Shikamaru Nara, Chouji Akamichi, Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, and Hinata Hyuuga were all given a clean bill of health. Something about this didn't sit right with Naruto. After all, Ino and Sakura had been hanging off of Sasuke like spandex on Gai, The only correlation he could make was that if he had to pick, those nine would be the ones he'd have picked to being ninjas above all others.

Getting to his apartment, he found that he had a visitor. Mizuki-sensei smiled warmly at the blonde brat. "How would you like to graduate ahead of everyone else?"

Now somewhere deep in his brain, he realized that this was the exact opposite of his plan, but this opportunity being presented was a rare, golden moment for a prank. Also, this promised to be something that going to get him in trouble, since Mizuki-sensei had never been nice to him before. And so with a wide grin, reminiscent of the one he wore under the guise of the Joker he agreed with a "Sure! What do I gotta do?"

That night, when Sarutobi returned from a smoke break, he was in for a surprise. Sitting in a plush leather chair with a high back, and his feet on the desk, was the new menace of Konoha, the Joker. What really caught Sarutobi was the fact he was currently holding the Forbidden Scroll of Seals, spinning it on one finger lazily.

"Heya gramps!" the Joker proclaimed loudly as he set the scroll down on the desk. "I saw one of your teachers convincing that poor Naruto kid to steal this scroll, and well... I thought I'd warn ya before I take it to get that Mizuki-bastard. Tah!"

Before Sarutobi could even react, the Joker was gone. Sarutobi was about to summon his ninjas, when he saw Naruto sneaking up behind him. Turning around he caught Naruto by the shoulder. "Naruto-kun... we have to talk..."

Naruto gave a victorious grin before turning back to look at the Hokage with a busted pout. "Hehe... ya got me... guess I don't graduate early like Mizuki-sensei said..."

"I wonder..." Sarutobi mused before pulling Naruto into his office. "Someone that's watching out for you was here... and they took the scroll. I would like for you to trick Mizuki into thinking you stole the scroll. I'll even send some ANBU in later to protect you. In exchange, an A-rank mission pay, and you become a gennin."

Once again, Naruto grinned widely, glad that he had picked another way to complete his plans. "You can count on me Jii-san!" and with that Naruto scooped up a random blank scroll and ran off with it. Sarutobi smirked, he knew something had changed in the boy, and now he had a good idea what exactly that something was. Settling in to watch the entire thing through his crystal ball, he was not disappointed with the show.

Naruto chuckled as he looked at the actual Forbidden Scroll, it had a lot of good jutsu he could learn on it. But the first one interested him the most. Kage Bunshin, if he learned that he would be able to be in two places at once. It was perfect.

Learning it had taken only a few hours, but after he had finished learning it, something happened that he didn't expect. Iruka caught him. "Naruto! Why'd you steal the Scroll of Seals?"

"Mizuki said I'd graduate early that way! I had to steal it and learn one jutsu off it!" Naruto proclaimed proudly while his clone got into position at the edge of the clearing. If he pulled this off right, Mizuki would never know what hit him.

Sure enough, when Mizuki arrived into the clearing, and tried to destroy Naruto by stating he was the Kyuubi, the clone sprung his trap. With an insane laugh, the Joker appeared holding a henged log that looked like a copy of the scroll of seals.

"Looking for this?" the Joker asked calmly. "See, the boy there only has a fake copy. I have the real one."

"I see... so the demon didn't even steal it," Mizuki mused before pulling out his fuma shuriken. "Now Joker, why don't you just hand that over?"

Joker paused to look at the shuriken before shrugging and tossing it over. "Sure, CATCH!" the Joker called out while the scroll was in midair. As soon as Mizuki's hands touched the scroll, it turned into a log, just before an explosion of pink gas shot out, blocking Mizuki from view.

While Mizuki knelt over in laughter, the Joker looked at the other two with a shrug. "That much power musta driven him nuts! Have to say I approve! Being insane is great!" the Joker then joined in the insane laughter of Mizuki, until he disappeared in a plume of chakra smoke.

"A Kage Bunshin..." Iruka stated looking where the clown faced man had stood. "Where's the Scroll of Sealing?"

"I have it! Joker-san gave it to me so he could get Mizuki," Naruto explained handing over the real scroll to Iruka, just in time for the ANBU to arrive. "Naruto Uzumaki... Iruka Umino... the Hokage would like to speak with you..."

As the still giggling Mizuki was carried away, the ANBU that had spoken with Naruto regarded him as though curious about him. "He mentioned talking to you about... your laughing friend... and other matters that came out tonight."


	4. Chapter 3

Naruto leaned back in his seat, resting his feet on the table with a bowl of ramen in his lap. All in all, he had to admit that today had been a very good day. He made gennin, which while not according to plan, did provide him with a viable income source. Now he just had to wait until he got a team, fail that, and take a job as a desk clerk or something, maybe he could even become Iruka's teacher's assistant or something.

That would leave enough time to have Joker running around free and wild, especially with the new trick of Kage Bunshin. He'd just have to make certain that he didn't wear his headband while running around as the Joker. That was the only thing the Hokage asked of him. It was agreeing or being arrested and given over to Ibiki, who wanted to 'talk' to him about the hot sauce in the torture expert's underwear.

The talk of getting a rival was entertaining, but it just annoyed him that Jii-san wouldn't help him make one. After all, he'd just have to slip the right books to the uptight Uchiha ingrate, and let nature take its course. But nooooo Sarutobi couldn't get involved in the Joker no matter what.

Slurping down his ramen, he smirked at what happened after he left the Hokage's office. As a special treat, Iruka and a few ANBU had taken him to Ichiraku's and bought him all the ramen he could eat for lunch. Well, Iruka had insisted on only buying the first and second bowls... everything else was on the ANBU. Sadly the faceless nins would be living on rations for a few days, due to their wallets suddenly being emptier than a buffet line after an Akimichi party.

Setting the bowl aside, he decided that it was time to go and have some fun. Letting a soft chuckle escape his throat, he summoned up the henge and slipped out through the underground tunnel his clones had been digging out all day. Popping out in the bushes of one of Konoha's parks, he smirked as he plotted out the night's events. He would have to visit the Uchiha, and give him another playful nudge into insanity, but for now he needed something else to do.

Seeing a jounin wandering past with his nose in an orange book, while another one that was chain smoking complained that they were late, gave him an idea. Slipping into the shadows and trailing the two was surprisingly easy, as they were meant to be jounin elites, he thought. Finding himself listening in on a jounin instructor only meeting at the Hokage's office was far too easy for his liking, and yet here he was, looking at the group of jounins, and the Hokage, not a single one indicating that they knew he was there.

"I have summoned you here, because of the recent outbreak at the academy has reduced our graduating class to just nine students," Sarutobi began while tapping down the tobacco in his pipe. "Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma... your teams are the only ones not under lock down in the hospital for the next month. I would like you to try and push them to fully pass the bell tests if possible. As we have all agreed previously, these are the students with the greatest amount of potential."

The Joker smirked at this, and leaned in curious about what the bell test all entailed. He was in for a great shock when Sarutobi pulled out a tinkling bag from a drawer of his desk, pulled out three pairs of small silver bells, and tossed them nonchalantly to the three named jounins. "The final tests will be next week, but one has already graduated and performed a mission... Kakashi I will speak to you of this one after the others leave. The rest of you, your teams will be tested again after the mild poison afflicting them has passed out of their systems, I hope that you will all be fair and just with them."

"Hai Hokage!" the assembled jounins proclaimed before being dismissed with a wave of the Hokage's hand. Joker decided that now would be an excellent time to play with the Uchiha brat.

Slipping out of the tower was easier than getting in had ever been, which made him want to weep, or make the security people weep. But he was running late on an important date, and it just couldn't wait. Getting into the open air, he found the Uchiha an elusive target for once, and decided to just prowl about for a while. As he was passing by the Hyuuga grounds, a sound reached his ears.

Turning to look, he found his teeth clenching in anger, for there was his classmate Hinata Hyuuga getting wailed upon by a man easily twice her size. Leaping into the area, he let out his laugh, gaining the attention of the major asshole. "Hello! I'm sorry, but I just couldn't let you do any more..."

"Joker..." Hiashi snarled while his Byakugan eyes flared again. "You dare intrude on my grounds and dictate what I can and cannot do in training my daughter?"

"YOU GOT IT POPS!" Joker exclaimed with another laugh. "And they said you Hyuuga pricks had no sense of humor..."

"You are in the range of my divination..." Hiashi stated calmly as he began his attack, only to break off in a cough as a pink fog shot out from the Joker's lapel and before he could return to his attack, laughter began bubbling out of his mouth. At first they were soft snickers and chuckles, then a chortle, until finally he was on his hands and knees laughing like a mad man.

"Like it? It's my own special blend, it uses your chakra to make you laugh! See I don't like bullies pops, and while you call her your daughter, you were nothing but a bully there..." Joker commented calmly as he watched Hiashi grip his sides in pain. Leaving the laughing clan head alone for a moment, he knelt next to the panting Hinata and held out a card. "Hello again, sweet cheeks, and I suggest you leave this jack ass in the past."

Hinata shakily took the card from the Joker and smiled her thanks. Bowing slightly she wondered if her suspicions about the man behind the mask were correct. Before she could say anything the Joker was gone, and on the back of the card was a recipe for the laughing gas that had just incapacitated her father. Tucking the card away, she smiled again and decided it was time to do some cooking.

Joker for his part was having the time of his life. He'd led the Hyuuga clan members that had chased after him on a merry chase, ending with them falling face first into a huge pile of manure. Each one ended up with his card taped to their butts where they stuck out of the pile. Letting his laughter fill the night air again, he began to prowl once again for his favorite target.

Passing an alleyway, he noticed an odd silhouette on the ground. Turning to look up he found a cloaked figure standing on the top of a building, glaring down at him. At least he was fairly certain those two white marks were supposed to be eyes glaring at him. The figure leaped off the building, using its cloak to glide down at him. A sudden draft sent the figure sailing not so gracefully into the wall of the building. As the figure tumbled down, he smiled seeing exactly who it was. The stitching was a little overdone and sloppy, the symbol was upside down, and he really needed to put in eyes and a mouth hole... but it could only have been one person. "BATSY! I was wondering when you were going to show up."

". . . My name is not Batsy, it's Batman..." Batman snarled as he cracked his knuckles. "And I'm here to stop your reign of terror and mischief Joker.

"Aww come now Batsy, let's not be so melodramatic..." Joker pouted while dusting himself off. "After all, this is our first meeting, so we should do this properly. A prolonged chase through the city, vows of my defeat, oaths of my vengeance, and a lot of laughs had by all!"

"I don't think so, you have enough to answer for, surrender and I'm sure the Hokage may be merciful," the caped crusader ordered, before lunging forward to tackle the insane clown. Joker let out his trademarked laugh as he leapfrogged over the dark knight, propelling him into a large pile of garbage.

"It's been fun Batsy, but I have to run... give my love to your tailor, because he doesn't do good work!" Joker mocked before springing away into the city, laughing for all the world to hear. Meanwhile Batman pulled himself out of the festering pile of refuse and snarled at where Joker had gone towards. How dare that purple clad lunatic question his stitching work. After all he had spent all last night on this costume.

Joker had to admit, tonight was a good night, and after he slipped back into the tunnel heading home, he released the henge he wore, revealing Naruto Uzumaki to the darkness that engulfed him. He would have to remember to pick up some bells, because he had a plan to make sure that he failed the upcoming test, and get sent back to the Academy, or maybe just given a desk job somewhere. AS one of his classmates liked to state, being a ninja would just be too troublesome.


	5. Chapter 4

The graduation testing went about as expected, save Naruto's unexplained absence. Most wrote it off as him deciding to ditch the test because he was going to fail, until he showed up the next week with a hitai-ite and a smirk to beat the devil himself. Anyone that knew him, knew that he was up to something, but couldn't be sure what. As each of the arriving eight graduates, minus Sasuke focused solely on the grinning blonde, Sasuke focused instead on his brooding, thankful for the missing of his usual fangirls screams.

Iruka arrived shortly after the last student, and studied his former students one final time before sending them off to fight and die for their paychecks. Ah the life of a merce... ninja, yes, they were proud ninja, not mercenaries. "Comrades, I ask that you give your former sensei one final moment of your time before going out to become full fledged shinobi," Iruka started, getting their attention at the new term he addressed them with. "That's right, you are no longer my students, but rather my comrades in arms. It may come that I have missions with you, or you may replace me as an instructor here, or any number of things. But I ask that you always remember, that we are Konoha's shinobi, and each shinobi and kunoichi that bear our hitai-ite proudly and honestly is to become closer than your family. I welcome you, gennin of Konohagakure, and will now read off your team assignments."

Pulling out a scroll he could already tell exactly what was on it, the teams had been designated by his recommendation to the Hokage, and he had scribed it by hand himself. Unrolling the scroll he began reading from the start.

"And the graduate teams for this year will be..." he paused momentarily to build suspense. "Team seven is Ivana Kutchukokoff, Ivan Itchinanus, and Otto B. Kilt..."

Blinking at the giggling coming from his former students, he reread the list, rolled the scroll back up, and tossed it in the trash. "Sorry about that... It seems I mixed up the scrolls..." Iruka ground out through clenched teeth. Pulling out the another scroll, he checked to make sure this was the proper one, before reading it out loud. "Team Seven, you are actually Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha."

As the expected celebration of Sakura died down, Iruka continued. "Team Eight, you are Batman, Batgirl, and Robin... and someone mixed up my scrolls again..."

While Iruka dug through his scrolls, trying to find the appropriate one, Sasuke mused on the last team. It made sense that in order to defeat evil, he would have to take on sidekicks. He just couldn't figure out why Robin? Maybe he should see if Ino and Sakura wanted to be Batgirl and Robin, he could already think of some fabulous outfits to give them.

Iruka pulled out a scroll and read off the names with growing annoyance. "Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley for Team Thirteen... that just sounds like a recipe for disaster..." Tossing it aside, he plucked out another scroll, and let out a heavy sigh. "Flash, the Thing, and Swallow for Team Sixty-nine... was this one even supposed to be taken serious?"

Another few scrolls later he blinked owlishly at the names on the sheet. "Satoshi, Takeshi, and Kasumi for team 493... Okay, there's not even that many teams in Konoha..."

After an amount of scrolls that made the newly minted ninja wonder exactly how deep the drawer in Iruka's desk was, he finally sighed and gave up. "Team Seven, you're Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. Team Eight you're Shino, Kiba, and Hinata. Team Ten, if you can't guess are Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji. Your instructors should be here momentarily. Questions?"

Despite the entire group of nine asking dozens of questions, Iruka completely ignored them. "None? Good, see you around."

And thus began a day which would live in infamy. Over the next half hour, the classroom was reduced to one third of it's original count. Three hours after that, there was still those three students. Sasuke was brooding, Sakura was drooling, and Naruto... Naruto was watching an eraser he had placed in the door way an hour earlier. Really, he could understand a couple minutes, even an hour, but at two hours, he had decided a small prank as punishment. It was also to set up for his ultimate prank later during the test, but he didn't want to reveal that. However, the stupid teacher was THREE FREAKING HOURS LATE!

He could have been tormenting his new plaything Batsy during that time, or reading more about the original Joker's exploits and memoirs. But noooo, he was sitting here with Sasuke, and Sakura, the two people that ranked highest in the class, yet didn't have the common sense to pour water out of a boot with instructions written on the heel.

But that was a matter for another time, as the sensei of tardiness, the master of over one thousand excus... err jutsus, and the masked wonder, Kakashi Hatake had just arrived... and let the eraser fall on his head. Apparently the plan was going to work better than Naruto thought.

The dusted jounin instructed the remaining trio to head up to the roof. There they found that Kakashi was waiting for them, clear of dust. But Naruto could see tell-tale specks that informed him the plan was still in progress.

Introductions were not a surprise, since the trio had spent so long in academy, they could have mostly repeated them in their sleep, except for Kakashi's.

It turned out that the test was actually tomorrow morning, and that it was one to stress all they had learned at the academy, and they were also instructed to not eat breakfast, which Naruto decided to ignore. After all, if his super special, ultimate win ramen didn't stay down, it would taste just as good coming back up.

The morning of the test, he woke up early, ate a healthy breakfast, set up a few wonderful traps on the training grounds, and pulled out the advanced notes he made off of Joker's scroll and began reading it while he waited. The next one was Sakura, who looked like she was almost ready go back to bed, and then Sasuke, who looked like he'd been up for the past three hours primping.

Kakashi... well when he arrived three hours after the appointed time, Naruto was just finishing munching on some ginger root to help his breakfast stay down. It seemed the Joker also ate on the run a lot and had tricks to ensure he didn't end up puking.

The test started about as expected, Sakura and Sasuke went off to hide in the bushes. Naruto stood right in the middle of the clearing and challenged Kakashi directly. His first tactic of punching him wasn't really an attack, but it allowed him to release the catalyst to the itching powder currently coating Kakashi. The thousand years of pain, he could have lived without experiencing, but once he got into the water, he was thankful to be cleansed of the two itching elements.

After surfacing, he glared at the twitching Kakashi, noticing that the jounin had just started itching. It was a good thing this stuff didn't wash off until after activated it seems. Now he had to activate stage three. Pulling out a shuriken, he tossed it off into the trees, where it sliced through a few fishing lines he had strung up. The tongues of flame leaping out of the forest was a nice touch he thought, while the dozens of sharpened lengths of wood rained down from above he decided it was safer to duck back into the river.

Once he surfaced again, he found Kakashi glaring down at him, scratching the side of his face not covered by the mask. "Have a nice swim? Good job setting up those traps..."

"Thanks... can I quit now? Just give them the bells and I'll go back to the academy..." Naruto offered with a sheepish grin.

"No, see, I'm going to make your life hell..." Kakashi stated flatly as he continued to scratch. "So you had damn well be holding a bell at the end, or I will become your academy instructor."

Naruto decided that it was time to pull off the final stage of his plan. "Fine... KAGE BUNSHIN!" And suddenly there was a huge explosion that blanketed the entire village in a cloud of smoke, and when that smoke cleared, every square foot of formerly free space was now filled with an orange clad pre-gennin. While this was draining, it was going precisely as he had planned.

Kakashi looked at the nearest clones lazily before reaching out and poking a pair of them on the noses. "Have to say I'm impressed... but this many clones makes them pretty useless for combat... Might want to cut back by... nearly eight percent..."

"Oh... right..." Naruto stated calmly before releasing all the clones. Kakashi was expecting to see a dead orange clad boy laying on the river bank, however, he just watched as the boy sneezed and shook his head. "Wow... what a head rush..."

That's when the bell rang to signal the end of the test, and Kakashi noticed that where the bells had been, was now a ramen soup cup. Looking at Naruto, who just shrugged and began walking to the poles where lunch was waiting. "Guess that means I lose, huh Kakashi-sensei?"

"We'll see kid... we'll see..." Kakashi stated calmly while he followed Naruto, seeing Sasuke and Sakura each holding out a bell to the other. "Congrats you two, I didn't even notice you taking them while I fought Naruto..."

"But we didn't..." Sakura started before Sasuke cut in.

"Someone's setting us up Kakashi..." Sasuke stated calmly as he produced another bell from the grass by the posts. "I think we may want to rethink this test..."

"Hey, cool, a third bell, does that mean I pass?" Naruto asked eagerly, while looking at it. He had to play the dobe, but he really hoped that Kakashi wouldn't agree.

"I think I need to go talk to the Hokage... you three go to the store and pick up a third bento... put it on my tab," Kakashi stated while taking the bells from them. Something stunk about this, and when he found the Asuma and Kurenai waiting for him in the office, he knew it was more than he'd originally thought. "Hokage-sama..."

"You had too many bells as well?" Sarutobi asked calmly while pointing to the bells on his desk, it seemed to be just three short of forming a picture. Before Kakashi could do anything, the three in his pouch leaped out and settled into place, forming a huge grinning joker to stare back at them. "I see... consider all three of your teams passed... Kakashi, bring Naruto here..."

**OMAKE: The teams**

_As I was writing this chapter, I came up with a few more teams than was shown... let's revisit them, shall we? Oh and special cookie to anyone that can name where all the teams came from, both in story and in Omake.  
_

Iruka was picking up the mass of scrolls he'd gathered from the attempts at announcing the new gennin teams. After a few, he decided to read over a few of them. The first one he picked up he had to laugh at. "Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami, and Asuka Shikinami... with Gendo Ikari for a sensei... that sounds like a good way to ensure three mentally scarred children... but I'm not sure why..."

Wondering why he was picturing giant robots destroying the city in order to save it while dancing, he tossed the scroll into the bag he'd brought to carry them to the Hokage for his review. The next one caused him to smirk. "Kelly Garrett, Jill Munroe, and Sabrina Duncan... with sensei Char-Li? Sounds like a really angelic team, but I doubt they'd see much of their sensei..."

The next one had him chuckling, "Alvin, Simon, and Theodore with David Seville as the sensei... I can just hear him screaming Alvin's name all over the place for some reason. Oh Team Chipmunk... interesting..." Iruka mused with another chuckle before tucking the scroll away.

Picking up another scroll he found himself wondering if the prankster was definitely having fun with these. "Akane Tendo, Xian-Pu, and Ukyo Kunoji... with Ranma Saotome as the sensei... Yeah, I think the destruction of Konoha would be assured with this one..."

Picturing the group, he couldn't pick whether the sensei would be a male with black hair, or a female with red hair. Tossing the scroll into the bag, he decided that he'd read one more before finishing up, and taking these to the Hokage, maybe they could have a good laugh over them before they destroyed them.

"Team 2A-1 – Nodoka Miyazaki, Yue Ayase, Haruna Saotome... With Negi Springfield as a sensei... huh, he has another team on this scroll... Team 2A-2 Kaede Nagase, Fuuka and Fumika Narutaki... and another team?" Iruka mused, before counting up all his teams... a grand total of ten teams. Unless he was some progeny of the Kage Bunshin, that wasn't even believable. But somehow, Iruka felt he would have been in for a magical time.


	6. Chapter 5

Naruto was no stranger to being yelled at, and so when he stated that today's lecture was impressive, it was to be taken with a grain of salt... the size of pluto. But that was neither here or there. "And furthermore Naruto, you not only invalidated the test for the entire year's graduating class, but you were obvious about it. And so I have no option but to..." Sarutobi, only to be cut off by his current headache.

"Fail me, and banish me into the wastes?" Naruto asked while resting his feet on the desk, looking at his nails as though bored. "I guess this is good-bye then..."

"I cannot let you do that Naruto..." Sarutobi answered, giving him a smirk. After tipping the chair back so Naruto ended up sprawled on the ground he smirked at the shocked look on the blonde's face as he continued. "I have no option, but to pass all three teams, and press you into instant service. Congratulations Naruto Uzumaki, genin of Konoha. I expect you to make chuunin in under a year at this rate..."

The scream that ripped out of Naruto's throat expressed let the entirety of the Elemental nations what he thought of that. Which was impressive as it had been only one word. Sarutobi was impressed by the dramatic posing Naruto performed while on his knees, fists clenched at his thighs. It was made even better when a dreary rain poured down over the kneeling boy, and lightning rent the air of the room.

'_And to think the boy did worst on the genjutsu part of the exams..._' Sarutobi mused silently as he watched the boy go into a full on routine of grieving the ruination of his perfect plans. It was overall, a very nice performance, but it lacked authenticity. "Try again Naruto, you're not convincing me at all..."

Letting out a sigh, the blonde got up off his knees and dispersed the clouds and rain with a wave of his hand. "Can't blame a guy for trying, can you?" Naruto asked with a hopeful smirk, only to let it fall when Sarutobi shook his head. "I suppose I should come clean with you jii-san... I never wanted to be a ninja..."

"Oh? And what did you want to be?"

"I wanted to be a pirate!" Naruto shouted before being replaced by a pirate version of himself, puffy shirt, leather pants, and ridiculous hat. "Slipping down the currents of the great sea! With me best maties by me side... and we'd sing... sing... sing..."

"Please don't..." Sarutobi asked, stopping the blonde while trying to figure out how he was coming up with these ideas. Naruto returned to normal and pouted petulantly. "Just... why did you do it?"

"Well... I figured if I failed, and everyone else passed, they'd understand if I just went into a desk job..." Naruto explained with a weak smile, he knew that it was weak sounding, even to his own ears. "So... how about I just get a nice desk job, and the others have happy, super fun ninja careers, and I'll go assist Iruka-sensei..."

"Denied... you'll be on Team Seven for now..." Sarutobi answered flatly.

"AW!!! Come on! The Emo and the fangirl! They're no... well alright they'll be tons of fun to torment... and I suppose Kakashi-sensei's not too bad either..." Naruto broke off into a musing, rambling rant. "But even still, why break us into individual teams if we're just going to end up working with whomever you assign us to. It makes more sense to my mind to have us train with the groups a few days a week, maybe on a rotational schedule, and then a big group training like mock combat or something..."

Sarutobi secretly jotted down a few notes on these suggestions, before clearing his throat calmly. "Now, I'm sure that you're wanting to get out of here Naruto, why don't you let Mr. Giggles out and go bother this new... 'Batman?' was it?"

Naruto smiled wickedly before poofing out of existence, surprising Sarutobi as he hadn't noticed that it was a kage bunshin at all. Instead he just pulled out his pipe and took a few deep puffs on it, letting the smoke haze out the room. The idea of having joint training exercises did have merit.

The real Slim Sh... Naruto was currently in his Joker motif, hunting for his favorite pray. He couldn't stop here, for this was Batman country. Speaking of the preferred target of insanity inducing fun, here he was, in all his misshapen glory. At least he'd improved a little bit. "BATSY! So good to see you again! I see you put in some eye-holes this time, and added some white-out lenses, nice work!"

"It's Batman, Joker, and I'm going to bring you in," Batman ordered, before slinging out something that looked like bat-shaped shuriken at the purple clad lunatic. Joker merely ducked under the whirling blades and lashed out with a sweep kick aimed at the vengeful vigilante. After getting tripped up, Batman spun in midair, landing on his feet with a great deal more grace than he had in previous fights.

"See Batsy, it's much easier to fight when you can see!" Joker giggled as they continued their dance-like fight. It wasn't until Joker slipped on a banana peel, that either gained the upper hand. As he slid down into the splits, Joker knew he was in trouble. However, just as Batman was about to apprehend him, something lucky and unexpected happened. A giant boxing glove flew out of the shadows of a nearby alleyway and hit Batman, sending him flying headfirst into the wall of a local shop.

"Nobody messes with my puddin'!" a female voice declared while the glove retracted into the shadows. Taking its place was a very female form, in curves hugging red and black spandex. Naruto recognized the design instantly, and had to admit, replacing the puff balls with silver spheres was a nice touch. Looking at her fully, he smiled widely as he pulled his feet back together, letting him stand up. "Ya alright, Boss?"

The Joker, for the first time in his life was absolutely speechless, with the curves, and the sultry way she approached he couldn't help by stare. He really liked her attention to details on the original, like the puffy cuffs and the frock, and the two horns on the cap with silent silver bells hanging off. "Yeah..." Joker squeaked before clearing his throat and holding out his hand. "I'm The Joker... and you are?"

Harley gave him a coy little smile that set the poor maniac's blood boiling as her eyes slid into a half-lidded state where he could just tell she was mentally undressing him. "Harley... Harley Quinn... but ya can call me... yours..."

Now the original Joker had left a few notes on what he should do if he should ever meet up with a girl that would become his Harley Quinn, and for the life of him he couldn't remember any but one. '_**DO NOT LET HER GO OR YOU WILL REGRET IT MORE THAN BATMAN FOREVER!**_' and while the new one didn't understand the reference, he did get the meaning.

Walking over, he slung an arm around the woman's shoulder and let out his favorite laugh, which was joined nicely by her giggling laugh of insanity. He could already tell, this was the start of a beautiful partnership. Now he just had to figure out a way to keep in contact with her without slipping who he really was. Even if he could trust her, it was too dangerous to reveal himself to her just yet. "Come on kid... let's go create some fun..."

"Sure thang Mistah. J!" Harley squeaked with another giggle before presenting the Batman's backside sticking up for the world to see. "What do we do with Batsy here?"

Joker merely pulled out a pair of scissors and in a few quick snips removed the passed out vigilante's garish cape, a few snips later and he had removed the seat of the pants. The cape and extra material was then hidden under a large pile of garbage, before the Joker slung his arm over Harley's shoulders. "Let's go have some fun!"

Several hours later, as the moon lit the entire village in its ghastly glow, a single shadow clad form sneaked into the residence of one Kurenai Yuhi. Unfortunately for the form, it didn't sneak enough. This was revealed to her as Hinata was caught in the illumination emanating from the kitchen ceiling light overhead. "And where... have you been young lady?" Kurenai asked calmly while Anko snickered from the other side of the table. She knew _**THAT**_ tone from many times of having it turned on herself, so she was savoring it for all it was worth.

Hinata 'eep'ed and fidgeted under the glare of the woman who had come to raise her after her father had kicked her out of the Hyuuga clan houses. She knew she was in very deep, and couldn't think of a way out of this. "K...Kurenai-s...sensei... I... I..."

The genjutsu specialist merely rose one finger and pointed at a high backed, hard wooden chair that was reserved for when Anko was in the doghouse... again. Almost by instinct Anko stood and went for the chair, only to be stopped by Kurenai's hand on her shoulder. "Not this time Anko... you're not in trouble... as far as I know..." the red-eyed woman told her in a tone that suggested that if there was something, she was going to drag it out of the snake user by her nose hairs if she had to.

While Anko squirmed under Kurenai's glare, Hinata took the seat she'd been instructed to, latching onto a plan to get her out of trouble. "I'm sorry Kurenai-sensei... I... I was with a friend celebrating our advancement, and we lost track of time..."

"Oh, you should have sent a message sweetie..." Kurenai answered, going maternal on the girl in trouble. "I know what it's like to be young and want to celebrate, but you had me worried sick..."

"And since the two other kunoichi in your class came by earlier..." Anko added with a playful smirk, as Kurenai took on a predator quality. "Just who were you with?"

"N...N...N..." Hinata began, before a heavy blush overtook her and she fainted with a huge happy smile on her face.

"Huh... she made three N's this time..." Anko stated while looking over at the poor shy girl. "Do you think those two girls..."

"No Anko, not every pair of close female friends are sexually involved with each other..."

"Buuuut Naaaaaai-chaaaaaan, they look so cute together!" the tough, scary, ultra-elite torture specialist whined out as though denied her dango again. Kurenai knew about the dangerous side-effects of that particular tone, so she decided to stop her before she went into a massive rant.

"We'll talk about that later, along with why you were going to the naughty chair again..." the genjutsu specialist answered, before pinching Anko's ears painfully, dragging her along. "Now pick up Hinata and take her to her bed... I expect you to report back here in five minutes or your punishment's going to be even worse."

"Yes ma'am..." Anko mumbled as she scooped up Hinata and took her towards the bedrooms. "Sheesh, I never get to have any fun..."

"Just for that, you're on the couch tonight!" Kurenai stated as she went to make some tea, getting a whimper out of Anko. After all, they both knew who wore the pants in that relationship.

The next morning, all of Konoha was stumped. They weren't sure how the Joker set up the entire Hyuuga Compound to be decked out like the Red Light District, complete with distastefully oversized living mannequins of most of the female Hyuuga members beckoning all for services, regardless of gender. All that was known was that a simple message was left sprayed onto a wall in whipped cream. "Me and Mistah J have come to hate two things more than Batsy... Squares and Bimbos."

In red lipstick at the bottom the message continued. "And we sure found 'em by the tons here!" Pasted next to the two messages were pictures of most of the Hyuuga elders, and Hiashi Hyuuga himself.


	7. Chapter 6

It had been over a week since the bell test, and for the most part, it had been a quiet time in Konoha. Quiet being relative when you have the Batman going after the Joker and his girl Harley Quinn every night, but for the most part nothing had been destroyed, and repairs needed were for the most part cosmetic. This meant that the gennin teams got a lot more D-rank repair missions, and the gennins got more pay, sustaining the lives of freshly minted shinobi and kunoichi just that much more. After all, kunai and shuriken were cheap, but they had to stock up their entire armory with more than that.

While one could get kunai and shuriken by the dozen for about 150 ryuu, ninja wire was 300 ryuu per roll, explosive tags were 1,400 ryuu each, and those were the most common, cheapest items available. Anything more, and you were looking at at least 4,000 ryuu. With D-rank missions only netting a person around 5,000 or 10,000 ryuu each, it made it difficult to continue buying all their mission supplies.

So for certain members of the gennin ranks, whom shall remain a nameless weapon mistress in training, a weekly supply run could run easily into the millions of ryuu, and that would leave her with barely enough for food for the week. Most of the food budget was covered by the orphans compensation fund. And while others do not purchase nearly as much, this sudden influx of D-rank missions meant that they were getting a lot more than most would in their gennin careers.

It should be noted that the budgetary meetings for your average ninja village are enough to make most economists weep.

Surprisingly, there remained only one mission that wasn't increased was the Tora missions, which were still at three retrievals per day. Only one team seemed to be able to consistently improve their times when retrieving the ninja cat from hell. Team Seven would barely be out of the doors to the mission room, when Tora would leap into one of their arms, trembling in terror, but it was only when they got the missions for some odd reason.

It might have been that the first time they received this mission, while Kakashi was being distracted by Naruto's clone asking him tons of questions, the real one was pestering Sasuke into using his katon and some explosive tags to flush out the demon cat. Sakura wanted to see Sasuke's display of power, and actually helped Naruto with the goading.

One leveled section of forest later, Tora was found curled up under a rock shelter trembling in fear. Naruto was the first to find it, and started whispering in its ear. The petrified cat was then handed off to Kakashi, who gave it to the daimyo's wife. The slack jawed expression on the faces of the mission room clerks were priceless, and yet it had only cost them 5,600 ryuu, and some chakra. They made it back in a single mission, with change to spare.

What this had to do with the story? Very little, but it was an interesting side note.

Currently it was the weekly day off for Team Seven they got by law, to prevent over exertion until they were old enough to know when to say stop. There were exceptions to this, as in the case of Gai and his protege, but the less said about the hunting down and tranquilizing of those two, the better. And Naruto was spending it relaxing in his home talking to the Joker. "Now see, if we drop the right hints, I'm sure we could get Sakura to join up with the emo-prince."

"But where's the fun in that? I mean it's all about us against Batsy..." Joker countered with a slight whine to his voice.

"Would give Harley someone to play with while we're busy with Batman..." Naruto answered sipping some ramen broth.

"But does it have to be Robin? They were so... BORING!"

"No... I think that it could be Batgirl... or someone else..." Naruto admitted after thinking it through for a moment. "We really need to get some more people in on it, make it a game or something."

Joker seemed about ready to dispute that, when he got a wicked, evil idea. "Hey now... what about a party? A costume party..."

"I can't afford that..."

"No, but Batsy could..."

Naruto took a moment to sip his broth again before smiling brightly as the idea finally percolated into his brain. "Oh... yeah he could... but how do I get him to do it? It's not like goading him into showing off his power... or maybe it is..."

"How so kid?" Joker asked, snacking on dango.

"Money is power, so by him throwing an extravagant costume party, means he's showing off how much money he has, and thus is more powerful..." Naruto reasoned out while finishing the line of thought.

"Sounds great!"

"Now that's out of the way... which of us was the clone again?" the blonde asked his counterpart who had a mouthful of dango.

"Ya know... I'm not sure..."

Across town, in her room at Kurenai's Hinata was sitting on her bed, playing with a stuffed red and black doll she'd made one day. "Quinn-san... what should I do? I can't face N...Naruto-kun yet... but I l...l...lo...like him so much..."

Pausing to listen to the doll she nodded a few times, as though agreeing with the mute doll. "I suppose I could keep working on it until I can face him as myself... And I get to be with him while he's the Joker..."

After a few minutes, she turned the doll so it could look out over the village, as though she'd been requested to. "Do you really think so? I suppose I could try and help him with his plans to change the city... They have yet to get the Hyuuga compound back in order..."

Giggling softly, she blushed lightly while shaking a finger at the doll. "Now, now Quinn-san, none of that... even if Na...Na...Naruto-kun were into that... I don't think he'd like to be sandwiched like that..."

Blinking she tilted her head as though considering something. "That's true... when did women last give a man the choice?"

While Hinata and a doll were conversing the raping of a certain blonde, orange wearing shinobi, in the Uchiha estates another type of criminal planning was underway. "First I'll kill the Joker, then Itachi, then that Harley Quinn, then Itachi again, then Naruto, and finally ITACHI!"

Moving on...

At the Hokage office, a meeting was being held with the active gennin team instructor, and the Hokage. "Now that Kakashi has joined us..." Sarutobi began as the porn loving jounin meandered in, 1.562 hours late. "We can begin. It has been brought to my attention that the gennin are having trouble once they become chuunin in that they're used to established teams, and getting adjusted to new teams seems to be difficult for them. What I'd like to do is take one day a week and mix up the teams, so that they can learn to work with the strengths of others, not just their set teams. Further, another day, I'd like to take and have them all assemble for group training. The elder gennin could be used to help teach the youngers."

"Excuse me Hokage-sama, but I have to disagree..." Gai spoke up against the idea, while a couple others nodded in agreement. "This would weaken the youthful bonds of teamwork that the gennin have developed over their years together."

"Maa... I think I would disagree there Gai..." Kakashi droned while closing his book. "If you think about it, it would actually create a more flexible pool of active ninja... And maybe you could train the Emo out of the Uchiha..."

"Emo? What's that?" Gai asked curiously while leaning in. "It does not sound youthful in the least..."

"Oh no... it's quite possibly the most unyouthful state of mind one can be in..." Kakashi answered giving Gai his infamous eye smile of doom. "But if you're not up to it..."

Gai looked shocked at the challenge before turning to the Hokage and falling to his knees in to plead for forgiveness. "PLEASE HOKAGE-SAMA LET ME TAKE BACK MY WORDS OF HASTE! I SHALL MAKE CERTAIN BY THE TIME I AM FINISHED WITH SASUKE HE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY FLAMING!"

Only Gai seemed confused about the laughter by the others, but the Hokage waved him off. "No need for such dramatics Gai... Any other objections?"

As most of their ears were ringing, all of the jounins simply shook their heads. "Good, you're excused." Sarutobi stated calmly with a wave of his hand to send them off to spend their days off. After they'd all left, he pulled out his pipe and treated himself to his best blend. As his mind grew hazy with the pleasant smoke of his favorite blend, he could only imagine how this might change the world forever.

Sadly, his imagination wasn't even halfway close to the reality.


	8. Chapter 7

For his part, Naruto accepted the change in teaching regimes about as gracefully as the others, upon seeing Gai-sensei. "OH DEAR GOD! MY EYES ARE BURNING!" became a rather standard greeting for the green clad sensei and his student Lee to receive when they entered the area.

The actual attempts to gouge out eyeballs when the sunset of horrendous doom went off led to a severe decline in their appearances.

The groups had been holding their meetings every week now, and it was so far working out alright. Two of the older gennin had taken to mentoring rather well in their expertise. Neji Hyuuga needed a little motivation, but one visit from "Red and Black Devilwoman" had him pitching in very eagerly, even taking Hinata aside to work on the Jyuuken fighting style.

Today was one of the days when the teams were to be scrambled up. Gai dragged Sasuke, who left claw furrows in the ground, while Sakura and Ino tailed after quietly. Shino, Shikamaru, and Kiba went with Kurenai. Asuma pulled Lee, Chouji, and Neji from the group, leaving Naruto to sit with Hinata and the strange Tenten girl from Gai's team.

He liked Tenten actually, she was a friendly girl and had a practical attitude when it came to training. She also had a passion for weapons that Naruto appreciated, and she was kind of cute when she talked about it. Pulling out a deck of cards, he began dealing out three hands of poker, as was the unspoken rule of waiting for Kakashi.

The person with most experience waiting for the perpetually tardy jounin would pull out a deck of cards and deal the Shinobi's game. No one was sure when it started, nor why it had been accepted so readily, but it had managed to lessen fighting in Team Seven to a bare minimum of once a week.

It also added to the income of many of the gennin as they tended to be better at poker due to playing so much. No one ever seemed to be able to beat Naruto at the game however, so the rule became that no money would be bet unless there is a new player at the table. Then the advice was to bet small, and let Naruto clean them out the first time.

So far only Kiba and Sasuke had broken the unspoken rule, letting their pride push them beyond reason and common sense. The current amount that they owed was over 100,000 ryuu each, and that was after they had paid off their debts as best they could at the time.

Today was going to be a new and interesting experience for the trio of gennin playing poker, for they would witness the decimation of Kakashi's wallet. He arrived half an hour earlier than they expected, and asked to be dealt in. Soon enough it came down to him and Naruto, who teased him about making it interesting. Kakashi started making a simple bet of 50 ryuu, and somehow found himself making wagers of several hundred thousand ryuus at a time.

By the end of the game, Naruto had emptied out Kakashi's wallet, and a large chunk of his savings. The jounin had finally called a stop, and made Naruto promise that he'd be able to attempt to win it back another time.

The training after that was simple, survive while Kakashi tried to run them into the ground out of anger. Tenten and Hinata held out admirably, however it was Naruto that was still up at the end of the laps. Kakashi's hidden eye twitched, leaving him to look cool and aloof. Oh he was going to make that brat beg for mercy.

Several hours of hard grueling stamina building training later, Kakashi let the gennin break for supper. The trio managed to stumble their way into Ichiraku's Ramen, and place their orders before slumping against the bar in various stages of exhaustion. Hinata was the worst off, since Gai was a training nut job with no fashion sense and Naruto, with a little more determination he could have made Sisyphus seem like Shikamaru.

So you could imagine just how tired they looked, Naruto was barely breathing heavy, even if his legs felt like they were going to fall off. Hinata had used Naruto and Tenten as supports for the walk, while Tenten was barely in better shape. Kakashi had simply collapsed in place when they had gotten out of view.

Apparently he needed a lot more work if Naruto could outlast him. Then again, he didn't know that Gai had lost to Naruto in a stamina contest two weeks prior, so maybe he should have taken it with a grain of salt that he lost.

After a grueling day of training from Hell, Naruto was several thousand ryuu richer, and had a new appreciation for jounin. Even that didn't stop him from going out as Joker to cause havoc and mischief, it just meant that his targets were a little more limited than they usually were. But even if it was only the civilians and Sasuke, he and his companion had a fun filled night ahead of them.

"Heya Mistah J!" Harley called out as she arrived at their meeting point on top of the Hokage monument. Her usual energy seemed to be somewhat missing, but the Joker didn't fully notice that, instead he was distracted once again by how beautiful the masked woman was. Okay, so maybe he had to admit even in the most private part of his mind that he was developing feelings for his partner in cri... err pranking, not crime, nope, definitely not crime.

"Hey Harl, ready to have a blast?" Joker asked with a smirk as his brain finally caught up with the rest body. He was getting better, it took him .01 seconds less time to stop drooling this time. He would have to reward himself with some ramen later or something. "We haven't played with the ANBU yet... so I thought we'd go have fun with them!"

"Sounds great boss! How are we doin' this? Putting glue in their coffee? Or maybe... How's about you use a prank based on a friend of mine... Permanent sexy-no-jutsu all around!" Harley offered up as she eagerly bounced back and forth on her toes.

The Joker's eyebrow quirked up at the mention of his infamous technique, so apparently this was one of his classmates from school, but he couldn't imagine who would have that hot a body. Sakura was flat as a board, Ino wasn't large enough to fill out the chest, in fact other than Hinata, none of the girls were large enough, and Hinata was shapeless. Besides she was always blushing and stuttering, so it couldn't be the bold and flashy Harley.

"What's up, Mistah J?" Harley asked as the Joker had gone silent, instead of his usual instant response. "There needs to be more fine ladies around... Have you seen the sausage fest that was the last academy class? Boooooooring!" With a pout Harley continued in a mumble. "Man, I wish I had X-ray eyes... now that'd have been interesting..."

Joker overheard the muttered comment and put another strike against Hinata being Harley Quinn, after all, the Hyuuga's had super awesome x-ray eyes, didn't they? He had even caught one doing it, and despite the fierce denial from Neji, he knew a pervert blush when he saw one.

Striking a dramatic pose pointing at the ANBU headquarters he declared proudly, "We will go and reverse their genders!" After a moment's afterthought, he added, "And then go bug Batsy!"

Now, while this was going on, it should be noted that there is a very good reason for the eccentricities that is commonly found in all jounin and and ANBU. Usually it's from dealing with their jounin instructors from when they were gennin. As the current batch of gennin knew that Gai had no taste in clothing, they would have appreciated a lot more if they had met his instructor. Never before had anyone in the world seen a ninja that wore nothing but a speedo and oil, and with a great mercy, they have never seen it again.

This was important to be noted as one girl was currently making plans to go out for a bit of fun for the night. Rubbing the black vinyl body suit she was wearing with one of her built-in claws she let out contented purr as she didn't find a single wrinkle in the suit. The only contention she had was that she could only find had a pair of cat ears and a tail for some odd reason. She should have thought twice about asking that purple haired woman who was wearing a trench-coat where to find a suit like it.

Letting out a laugh, the cat-eared girl contemplated the insanity of the jounins she knew of. This wasn't as bad as reading porn in public, or walking around half-naked, or dressed in green spandex while spouting endlessly about the flames of youth. No, she was just going out in skin-tight vinyl with a whip acting like a cat-woman-person-hybrid-thing.

Maybe she should think of a name before going out for the first time, just in case she ran into anyone she knew, but the woman had said that she had to be a student of Gai's to ask about such a thing at such an age. True Gai did tend to push the sanity bar of one, but it was just an experiment she'd thought of late one night while thinking about how she'd like to be the one to crack the whip while the boys trained once in a while. How the vinyl bodysuit came into matters, she wasn't quite sure, but it seemed fitting.

Though she did have to wonder what that old woman at the store had meant about a 'bad hobby', and about the coupon for a free spreader bar with purchase of a ponytail, a pair of handcuffs, and something called the full spread piercing. She wasn't quite sure she wanted to know.

Heading out, she decided that the Cat-woman was going to prowl for some fun, and maybe hook up with Joker and Harley Quinn for some fun. If not that, she would just bug Batman for a while, or Neji. Yes, Neji would be a good target to whip until he begged for more.

The following morning, Tenzo, who really wanted a new codename, woke up and noticed a small problem. Okay, so maybe it wasn't really that small of a problem... he seemed to have lost his best friend between his legs, and gained two rather ample and well formed developments on his chest. As his shout joined the chorus of others throughout the village, he realized that he would be getting that new codename at least, maybe he could be Miyamoto.


	9. Chapter 8

Things were not going Tenten's way tonight, first she couldn't find hide nor long, flowing, girly hair of Neji. She wasn't jealous of his luscious, flowing locks of chocolate brown hair that shimmered and shined in the sun while they trained. No, she just wanted to shave him balder than a newly initiated monk, his head would shine as though freshly oiled. And then she would go after Gai and his little clone Lee, and make them all bald! NO MORE BAD HAIRCUTS! Of course, try as she might, she couldn't find the targets.

So, she moved on to her secondary target, Batman, but he was already strung up by his bat-thong, meaning that she couldn't do anything to him. And she had found her third target of the night, Joker and Harley Quinn sprinting between several dozen houses, performing some seals and jutsu that she couldn't see. It was after the last one that her night took a decidedly terrible turn of events.

She wasn't completely sure how, but for some reason Joker and Harley decided it would be fun to hog tie her with her own tail, while her whip was used as a gag. Which was how she found herself camped out on the Fourth Hokage's head, while the moon shone overhead, giving a pale glow to the land. The conversation she was hearing didn't allow her the hope that the night was going to be getting better any time soon.

"Can I keep her Mistah J? I promise to take good care of her!" Harley was pleading with the purple clad clown while he seemed to be considering it. "I'm sure she's house trained! Right kitty?"

As Harley turn her sparkling, hopeful eyes on her, Tenten found herself nodding silently in agreement. She was housebroken after all, in a sense. It was after a moment that her mind caught what she was agreeing with, and glared coldly. "I don't know..." Joker mused while rubbing his chin in thought.

"I promise I won't let her get into the laughing gas serum this time! And won't try to shave her bald like you did..." Harley pleaded with a cute little pout to her lips.

"Hey! That's the Daimyo's cat! Everyone wants to kill that thing!" Joker shouted with a snarl to his lips. "Stupid little cat, next time I get my hands on it..."

The evil laughter was not the standard maniacal cackle of the Joker, but rather a very deep and disturbing evil laugh that made Tenten want to try crawling away, except that she knew attempting that would dislocate her arms, and she didn't want to deal with that.

"Come on Puddin'! Lemme keep her, please?" Hinata pleaded, playing lightly with Joker's ear. "She could even help us out with our little bat problem..."

Now, Tenten was thinking that the cat jokes were getting a little out of hand, but hey, if she could help them out with that Batman jerk, it'd be alright with her. After all, if she helps them out, they'd help her out, right?

It was while she was weighing the merits of joining up with them, that she felt her arms and legs released from their bondage. And then came the pins and needles as circulation returned. While she was getting the feeling back, she heard Joker talking to her. "Here's the deal babe, Harl here wants you as a pet, if you accept, you'll be a part of our group, and get to make suggestions in what we do. If you accept, meet us here tomorrow night after sunset."

Giving a nod, she worked the whip out of her mouth with a grunt. "Got it."

"Good!" Joker exclaimed before leaping away. Tenten rolled her head enough to look at Harley who was kneeling next to her and smiling.

"Hey there, ya alright?" the red and black woman asked, leaning over to rub the suffering Catwoman's arm gently. "We didn't think it'd take us that long..."

"I'm fine... Harley..." Tenten answered, while getting an eyeful of Harley's chest. Somewhere deep in her mind, some quiet voice pointed out that the woman wasn't wearing a bra, and then purred '_Me likey..._' But she would put off debating about her mental health for a little while, until she could figure out what she was getting herself into here. "So... a pet? I don't do pet... I'm a wild cat."

"Oh that's so sweet! Ya think I want a tame little kitty cat! Oh no, I want my Puddin' and a tiger..." Harley purred while stroking Tenten's exposed cheeks, giving the still partially numb girl another view to die for. "See ya later cutey..."

And thus Tenten found herself all alone on top of the Hokage monument as screams of displeasure and dismay filled the air, while the sun's warm beams finally reached her. Was this the rays of new hope reaching her? Or was she just really that freaking tired of her ordinary life of stabbing things, weapons, slicing, cutting, bludgeoning... okay she had to admit that she didn't have much of an ordinary life to call it such... but was she bored of it?

Now, one might wonder, where were her teammates that she couldn't find them even after hours of searching, or for the entire duration of her capture at the hands of the Joker and Harley Quinn. The answer to that might just surprise you.

Deep in the depths of Konoha's darkest basements, the three of them had convened to for a practice that if ever revealed to anyone else, would have them laughed off the face of the planet.

Lee spun around, shaking his youthful posterior for an imaginary throng of screaming women, while Neji licked his hand and mocked spanking him hard. Lee's acting of pained surprise was almost perfect, and their instructor clapped with pride and joy mixed together. "Most youthful indeed my fine students! I believe that the two of you are ready for your first show tomorrow."

Neji reflected that thanks to using simple henges he could ensure that no one in all of Konoha could possibly know who he was while he was dancing, especially with the masks over his eyes. If it wasn't the only way that Gai-sensei could think of to get extra money, he wouldn't have even considered this. But even with the current influx of missions, he still had a lot of bills to pay since he'd been the one to spur on the latest assault by that devil the Joker. So now he was stuck doing this until he paid off the bills that the rest of the Hyuuga clan was charging him.

Thankfully, Lee and Gai both assured him that their paychecks would be going to him until his bills were paid off. So he wouldn't have to do this for too long, but he did find that some parts of it were very fun to do.

Not that he'd ever admit he liked oiling Lee up and spanking him. Hell would freeze over first.


	10. Chapter 9

Apparently, there was a limit to the number of D missions one could take, or so they'd been told when assigned this C-rank mission. Now normally most gennins would love a chance to take a C-rank mission to just get out of Konoha, Naruto was not like most gennins. Anyone with even half a brain could point that out to you.

Even still, after he flat out refused the mission initially, he was the biggest supporter of getting it over with as soon as possible. Hoping and praying to any being that would listen that it would be a simple escort and guard duty mission, with no missing nins, sword wielding maniacs, or gender confused ninja trained civilians. And no, he did not have a clue as to why he kept making those specifics.

There was a minor benefit to getting out of Konoha, he could let Joker out to play, and not have to worry about Batsy, Batchicka, Batmutt, Batfink, Batboy, Batmobile, Batcard... or Robin... Had to remember the sidekick, that was often the death knell of villains, the forgetting of the loyal sidekick. Oh sure Sasuke was on the mission, and that meant that Batman could come out... but he was a joke in Konoha, so even if he was around, he didn't have to worry about him mucking up his fun.

The mission turned out to be everything he didn't want. First there was the demon brothers, CHUUNIN level missing ninja, and then there was a psycho that just flung his massive fucking cleaver around like a nut-job. And then there was a girl who claimed to be a boy, that turned out to be the supporter of the completely abso-fucking-lutely insane swordsman with compensation issues. And he never got a single chance to let Joker out to play!

Thankfully, due to Naruto remembering that Zabuza and Haku faked death before, they found out that the partially trained Haku hadn't actually died. Sadly, due to being the one to insist that they check, he was the one who had to carry her the entire way home. With a happy spot deep in his chest, he found out that he was not gay, his attraction to Haku was in fact hetero-sexual in nature. Now he just had to figure out a way for her to stick around Konoha for a while.

With a heavy sigh, he thought back to the past month and a half. Never once did his mind question why Haku wasn't able to walk to Konoha despite such a long rest, he figured her lung was bothering her or something. At first it had been such a simple thing, he was sleeping out in the forest after snapping at the little asshole of a brat, Inari, and she had woken him up.

He opened with some lame joke about waking to angels, and got her laughing. Eventually that led to them talking, while she gathered healing herbs. They had made good friends, he had thought, at least until she walked away after dropping the fake-bomb that she was a guy.

He had to admit it was a great prank, but he couldn't say for certain that it was a prank. After all, she could honestly believe that she was a guy. He remembered learning about something like that in a scroll from the adult section of the library. They really needed to watch people better when they go into restricted sections of libraries.

Then came the disastrous battle of the bridge, where he had tapped into the Fox unwillingly. He had barely stopped himself from tearing her apart after her mask fell off. And then she went and got herself killed for that psycho that used her loyalty. The bastard had taken a broken and lost little girl and used her as his insurance plan should missions go wrong, and she willingly sacrificed herself for him. He'd completely ignored her until Naruto shouted the truth and sense into him.

"Don't hate Naruto..." Haku whispered softly in his ear, her voice raspy and quiet. "Your heart is made for love... do not kill it like I did..."

Naruto smiled softly and nodded slowly, trying to not alert the others to the 'prisoner' being awake. He didn't want them to worry about her, instead he wanted to protect her. It was nice having someone rely on him like this. He only hoped that he could keep the trust she had put in him. And maybe get her to play with Joker too.

As he was thinking about Joker, and how to fit her in, a single person came to mind. Mr. Freeze. True she couldn't do quite all that he had... as far as he knew. Also she could do things he couldn't, but maybe she would be able to pull it off. All he had to do was get her interested and develop that interest, cultivate it like a flower.

Maybe he'd invite her over to his apartment, friends do that right, and he could show her the manga he'd found starring Mr. Freeze, and slowly help her sympathize with the guy, who only wanted to save his wife. And then slowly help her build herself up as the beautiful ice queen Miss Freeze. Oh how he wished he could let out the laughter he felt bubbling up inside him. Instead he just listened to Haku's even and slow breathing.

But first, his current project to get Sasuke to be less of an emo-prick, and more of a rich playboy he should be. First he'd have to work out an angle to hook him with, something that plays to his ego and goals in life. Hmm... that could work...

"Hey Sasuke," Naruto called out, getting the attention of the emo-prince of Konoha. "You said you wanted to rebuild your clan right? You should have some huge party, and dance with the girls. Maybe a nice costume party so no one knows who you are..."

"Hn..." Sasuke growled as he turned the idea over in his head, it wasn't that bad of a plan. He could pick out a strong, silent, graceful woman, and attempt to court her without the annoyances of having to see their faces. Now if there was only something to tip the his decision. Something that would assure that he'd enjoy the party.

"Geeze Naruto, Sasuke-kun would never do something as lame as that. Besides you know that the Joker would just love to use that as an excuse to bother Sasuke!" Sakura shouted in her highly annoying simpering fangirl voice. "After all, why would he want a party where he'd never know who he was dancing with?"

That would be it, if Sakura was against it, maybe she wouldn't come. "Hn... I'll think on it..."

"You could even do a theme... just to make the Joker stand out more when he shows up..." Naruto continued, shifting Haku higher up on his back. "But what do I know?"

"Like what? Everyone dress up as inanimate objects?" Sakura snapped at Naruto.

"That's not a bad idea Sakura..." Sasuke stated calmly with a thoughtful look to his face. The silence lasted for all of ten minutes, until Kakashi broke it.

"Maa... that would be a great security risk Sasuke... you would need someone or something to verify attendants are who they say they are. But I support it, in fact I believe that it should be a team mission..."

"I'll help decorate!" Naruto volunteered brightly with a huge grin on his face, only to meet with Haku's snoring. "What?"

"You're on door patrol," Sasuke ordered flatly, "Sakura and I will decorate and create the guest list..."

Naruto let out a put upon sigh as he slumped forward almost in defeat. However, in his mind a laughter rang loud and clear. A bright, ear splitting cackle with hints of insanity thrown in for good measure. If one didn't know better, they'd think that he was going insane.

Those that knew better, knew he'd passed that in the dust a few chapters ago. But we're not going to ruin the fun, now are we? After all, how often do any of Naruto's ideas go according to plan?


	11. Chapter 10

Ah, the joy that is the productivity of a team meeting. Naruto could only imagine how dull and boring life could be without these wondrous periods of group discussion and conversation. Sakura was fawning over Sasuke, Sasuke was being anal retentive, and he... he was sipping ramen broth while Kakashi was missing.

Oh yes, this was going to be fun...

"Seriously Sasuke, you want to have fun, not bore people out of their minds..." Naruto explained as he lowered his ramen. "Why don't you work with Sakura and Ino to plan out the music and decorations?"

The twitch of Sasuke's eyes gave him a feeling of satisfaction that few others could know. There was just some sort of joy that bubbled up from deep in his chest at the sight of Sasuke contemplating murder on someone other than his older brother. The sparkly, star-struck eyes that Sakura had at the thought of helping Sasuke so intimately only tripled his joy. Now if only he had some... oh wait... he did...

Taking another sip of ramen he savored just how perfect this meeting was going.

At least it was, until Kakashi decided to show up about an hour late for meeting, which meant that he was actually an hour early. An hour and change if Naruto wasn't too mistaken. "Hey Kakashi-sensei! Want some ramen? I can send a clone to get some more if you do..."

"Thank you... no..." Kakashi answered while looking at his cute little students. "Actually I was just talking with the Hokage, and he asked me to pass these application forms and waivers to you guys so you can attend the chuunin exams... all your little friends from the academy should be there."

Okay, this could cause a bit of a wrinkle in his plans, but he could make this work, he just had to play it right. "COOL! Does this mean that you believe in us? Maybe I could become a teaching assistant to Iruka-sensei if I become a chuunin..."

"Maa... such a waste Naruto, you are a natural for a battlefield command position," Kakashi intoned while waving the forms under his student's noses. "In fact, the Hokage seemed particularly interested in you joining..."

Oh the old man was going to pay for that... singling him out like this, getting Sasuke burning with a desire to combat him in the stupid exams. "But if I pass I can sign up to be an instructor at the academy right? Just like Iruka-sensei!"

"Stupid Naruto, if you're going to be an instructor there, someone else will have to teach them right," Sakura shouted at the sudden impact crater that Naruto left in the ground. When he didn't emerge right away, they began wondering what was going on. A closer inspection found wisps of smoke drifting from the bottom of the hole.

"Maybe it's a good thing I had a clone watching me..." Naruto stated from behind them, while they were looking into the crater. After they jumped and whirled around on him, he held up a stack of paper. "So... I fill this out, be at the place they say on here at the time... and we're all good to go, right?"

"Not quite... just show up with these two, try not to kill each other, and I'll meet ya there before you guys go into the exams," Kakashi answered passing over the forms to the other two.

"I'm going to go look int... I mean get some ramen, yeah... not looking into the competition at all..." Naruto covered badly while heading away from the others. Sure enough, that got Sasuke and Sakura's mental gears in motion, now he just had to add in the finishing blow. "Who knows, maybe we'll celebrate all us first years getting into the finals or something..."

The trap was now baited, and he was on his way to find out about the competition, not the people, but the exams themselves. It looked like it was time for clones, henges, and the Joker to come into play.

Oh, and he had to get Haku to play Ms. Freeze too. Couldn't forget that. She would be a big part to play eventually.

My, my, my the life of a ninja was never dull was it?

Speaking of dull lives, let's check in on Naruto's two teammates, shall we?

Well Naruto was working out how to build Arkham, his two teammates were reading through their waivers. "He was acting odd..." Sasuke grunted, while flipping a page.

"What do you mean Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, trying to figure out why her waiver seemed to be written in semaphore. Not that she was having a difficult time understanding it, but it was a bit odd. "He was being weird like normal..."

"He didn't resist a chance for advancement, like he did for graduation, most missions, filing reports, eating vegetables, training as a group, or even showing up for team meetings in general..." Sasuke clarified, wondering if that powdery film on the front page might not have been the best of things to ignore.

"You're probably thinking too much about it, remember he wants to work in the academy..." Sakura offered with a shrug, trying to figure out what pink with purple polka dot flags meant. "Or he's just trying to get us over thinking it..."

Now, it was said that the two of them were the best of their class. And if they were truly the best that their class had to offer, which mercifully they weren't since the true bests of class had hidden their true talents like good ninjas should, then it would seem that even the idiot of the class would be a better teacher than the current staff.

But we're digressing here, it appeared that these two weren't going to do anything entertaining any time this decade. So let's go check in on the missing member of Team Seven. Their wonderful instructor, and dedicated teacher, who always fought for the preferential treatment of his entire team was currently... reading his orange backed porn novel right outside of Iruka's classroom.

Backing away slowly now, slowly... Oh, there's the reaction... an entire wall safe impacted Kakashi square in the chest, sending him flying away. There was something to be said for the classics I suppose.

Maybe Kakashi should learn to read his pornographic novels in the comfort of his own home like most decent, upstanding citizens.

But where's the fun in that?


	12. Chapter 11

Sighing lightly, Naruto sipped the cup of ramen he'd built into his costume, hey if he was going to be a giant orange, he should at least use the extra space, shouldn't he? Being gate guard was a real bore, and he should at least be able to enjoy some delicious ramen to pass the time.

So far, only about ten of the invites had arrived at the party, and all of them were the fangirls that Sasuke had been forced to invite just so they wouldn't gatecrash in a tidal wave of human flesh and squealing voices. Naruto was thankful. He was hoping for the MUCH more enjoyable kind of gatecrashing...

Looking up, he found that the next guests had arrived. The black haired pineapple didn't seem to want to be there, and the large tomato next to him was already eyeing up the buffet line hungrily. If it wasn't for the blond cluster of grapes he doubted that they'd have even bothered checking in. "Hey Shika, Chouji, Ino, you're a little early, but you're welcome to enjoy some of the buffet, and mingle. Ino, the Sasuke fangirls are over behind the speakers so they can talk after the music starts..."

"I am not that shallow..." Ino huffed hotly while glaring at the other blond, only for Naruto to watch her go there anyway moments later.

A devious smirk spread over his face as he realized that her longing for Sasuke seemed to be weakening the longer they were apart. Perhaps he could use that for a little bit of fun later. That and the two grapes that bounced as she walked were rather distracting.

Shikamaru sighed as he leaned against the table in front of Naruto, allowing Chouji to wander off to the buffet table. After a moment he held out a slip of paper towards Naruto with a bored frown. "Tch... troublesome females... My mother said I can't leave until she does... but could you sign this note?"

"What reason would you have to leave before the party's really got going?" Naruto asked genuinely curious, trying desperately to withhold the Joker from his voice, even as it begged for use as one of the Joker's infamous putdowns. If there was one thing that the Joker hated, it was a party-pooper.

"Tch, it's Sasuke, his idea of fun is brooding over his older brother." Shikamaru groaned as the blond handed back his slip. Naruto fought harder than ever to stop himself from using the Joker's attitude. It might have been perfect, might have been awesome, but it would have ruined EVERYTHING!

"Just stick around, Sakura and Sasuke both worked really hard on this," Naruto offered with a warm smile, practicing for his role as an academy instructor already. After all, it was just one troublesome student, nothing that Iruka's future teacher's-aide couldn't handle. "Besides, you never know what surprises await when you give people a chance..."

While the lazy genius of the class walked over to stand with Chouji, Naruto couldn't help but smirk at the surprises that were already planned out for this evening. Looking down the list of names, he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as a quad of names stood out from the rest. Oh yes, the surprises were going to be plentiful tonight.

Grabbing another sip of ramen from the cup in his suit, he let out a playful laugh as the thought of the reaction ol' Batsy would have to the introduction of two new playmates on Joker's arms. Harley had already claimed the Joker's shoulders, though the offer to ride reverse was rather odd. He couldn't see if she did that.

Shrugging, he looked up at the next to arrive, it was Team Gai dressed as a cucumber, a white radish, and . . . whatever the hell Tenten was supposed to be. It was a yellowish grain of some sort, and apparently grew in green pods. Beyond that, he was stumped.

"Welcome to the party fellow genin, there'll be no fighting, no drinking, and no talk of the chuunin exams. I'm guessing by your eyes that you're Neji Hyuuga... Sasuke is currently up in his room, probably brooding over how Chouji stole his costume," Naruto explained with a bored, official tone while pointing towards the stairs going up. "As the other male of the group, you have to be Rock Lee... you are forbidden by Maito Gai from so much as looking at any alcohol that might be on the premises. Don't know why, just the reply we got from your jounin. Sorry."

Looking at the bun-haired brunette he couldn't help but feel he should know her from somewhere. Maybe with her hair down, he might be able to tell more about her, but in that costume, and with her hair done up in buns, there was just no way to be sure. "And you must be the aspiring weapon mistress Tenten..." Naruto started before looking down at the list and blushing. "I'm sorry, your name was blotted out in the reply letter and all we got was your first name. Could I ask you for it? And maybe what your costume is?"

"I'm a sesame pod, and my last name is -" Tenten answered while the boys drifted off onto the dance floor, only to be blared out by a test of the speakers. Naruto nodded and wrote down the name she'd provided before pointing to the refreshments. "Please refrain from weapons of any sort, a knife for those brownies is alright, though I recommend a jackhammer. We couldn't refuse the poor girl's attempt at baking for Sasuke, now could we?"

The poor girl in question was none other than Sakura Haruno herself, and she was apparently very proud of the fact that she made the brownies all by herself. Naruto would have wondered if she tried them before bringing them over, but knew that with her diet there was absolutely no way.

Maybe if there was a cooking-themed 'Rogue' in Joker's world, he could find a use for her, but unfortunately, he couldn't find any, so Batsy could keep her. Besides there were better fish in the sea.

Rubbing his left ear that still rung from the explosion of noise that had been the speakers' test, Naruto sighed and tried to figure out where he knew that Tenten girl from. He just knew that it was going to bother him until he figured it out. She was kinda cute too, so it would be rude to forget about her like that.

But those thoughts were shoved aside as Hinata's team arrived. Shino looked rather nice as a head of lettuce, Akamaru was rather adorable as cauliflower, and Hinata was drop dead stunning in her eggplant costume. It was such a shame that Kiba came as a bone, really it was. He just ruined the entire ensemble and broke the rules of the party. "I'm sorry kiba, but only fruit or vegetable costumes are allowed, and while you being yourself falls into both categories, you must go change."

Kiba looked a little stumped at the subtle insult, while Akamaru snickered, Hinata blushed and looked away, and Shino... Shino... WHAT THE HELL WAS SHINO DOING BEHIND THAT LEAF OF LETTUCE?

Was it really so hard to get an appreciative audience?

Before Kiba could realize he'd been insulted, Naruto pointed to the coat room, which Sakura had loaded with a few spare costumes, just in case of this happening. "Go in there and switch into a different costume... Don't know what's left, but I think we got something that'll fit you... Hinata, Shino, Akamaru, you three can go on in. Akamaru, if you're hungry please don't go up on the table... I recommend begging with puppy eyes, there's a lot of girls here that would go gaga over that."

After a couple minutes, Kiba emerged from the coat closet and waddled past the check-in desk with a grumble. Apparently the watermelon costume was the only one in his size, and he was not happy about that. Now if only Naruto had thought to bring a bat they could crack open the melon and really get this party started.

Bad Naruto! That wasn't for now... Although when 'Joker' came, he'd remember the bat... Oh yes. He'd remember...

But it was back to business as unusual when the Jounin instructors arrived. Apparently one of them brought a guest as there were now five Jounins in front of him, and only four on the list. Oh wait, Kurenai had put down a guest invite. Looking up he noticed that Kurenai was currently wrapped up as a husk of corn, while Asuma was a potato, and Kakashi looked kinda silly in the scarecrow costume that Sakura had ordered for him. The one and only exception that was going to be allowed tonight. After all, the garden party would be absolutely ruined if crows showed up to eat everyone.

Gai... good lord was that a ridiculously large cucumber costume, Naruto didn't even want to guess how he was going to fit through the doorways. And finally was the guest that Kurenai had invited. She was... umm... that is to say... "Yuhi-sensei... why is your guest naked?"

"I'm not naked! I came dressed as a pumpkin, see?" the guest protested before turning around and mooning Naruto. The subtle nosebleed that was sliding from him as he realized what that vertical split in the pumpkin leading towards the stem was, and how exactly she had the stem in, was but a minor distraction from his duties.

The fact that he was an orange currently helped hide the obvious other reaction he was having. "Um... I stand corrected... I... I think though that it might be better to go and change in the coat room..." Naruto stated while pointing to where the spare costumes were kept. If there was a god in heaven he was going to convert this woman, just as soon as he figured out what 'rogue' she fit.

Kurenai sighed heavily and with a pinch of the woman's ears, dragged her off into the closet to get changed. "I told you not to do this, I told you the entire way here, and you just had to go an embarrass me in front of everyone. I swear, you're like a punishment from above for some past sin of mine that I can't even begin to fathom..."

While the red-eyed woman continued to lecture the nudist, Naruto pointed towards the dance floor. "If either of you two know how to fix speakers, please go help them out... otherwise just plant yourself somewhere and hang out."

At the glare he got from Kakashi, he wondered what stick had crawled up his backside for a moment before realizing that he knew. The scarecrow costume was designed with a crossbeam to keep the arms up and to the side, while another came down so that the person could be hung properly somewhere. Instead he started wondering where Sakura had gotten that costume from.

Thinking about costumes, Naruto began to wonder how the exhibitionist party-goer had gotten a perfect pumpkin painted on her ass. She had to have had help, and if his guess wasn't too far off, the loudest protester was just as guilty as the prankster.

Oh this was shaping up to be a wonderful ni- good lord!

The naturalist apparently fit into the one costume he'd thought no-one brave enough to wear. The cherry one piece swimsuit was a nice one. What with the bright red cups over the chest and the 'stems' stretching down to cover the southern area. As she walked past Kurenai muttered something that he didn't quite catch, but he though that he'd heard "Not going to kill Anko, she is my girlfriend, not going to kill Anko..." But he couldn't quite be sure as most of the blood had long since left his brain.

He could tell that he would enjoy remembering in the future, but for right now his twelve-year old mind couldn't focus on that. Mostly since his sex drive was currently curled up, enjoying dreamland. He could understand, and manipulate the base instinct to reproduce. Hell his first original jutsu had used that in spades, but he didn't fully comprehend just how powerful a force he was playing with.

In fact it would take a massive chase with all of Konoha, and representatives of various other Elemental nations after him because of some pheromone enhancing jutsu for him to fully comprehend the power that he was dealing with. But there was no such thing as all that, so instead he just enjoyed the power-based euphoria he got whenever he played with people's minds.

Looking into the room, he smiled deviously as he noticed that Ino and Sakura were fighting again. Sakura's costume was a much more tame cherry than that Anko's, being a solid red ball with a stem sticking out of the top. Oh he could play with those two, all it would take is a few simple suggestions and Ino would be his little playmate, while Sakura would be Batman's faithful companion Robin.

Hmm... Ino was a fellow plant lover, now that he thought about it. And the original Joker did write down the chemical combinations that had given many of the other rogues their powers, if they had that type of origins that is. And even though she was a blond, and not a red-head, he could see Ino playing Poison Ivy very easily.

All it would take is a few simple suggestions, and maybe a guide on how to change hair color, to do it.

A dozen or so nameless faces later, and he found the last people he'd been waiting for arriving. Haku waved shyly from inside her broccoli costume, while her escort smiled warmly from his peanut suit. "Hey Ji-san, Haku, you're right on time!"

"That's good, I had feared we were late..." the hokage mused with a slight smirk, as though he knew that the real party was just about to begin. He shouldn't know that, but it wouldn't be the first time that Ji-san knew more about Naruto's side-hobby than he'd have preferred. Besides, it was just a matter of time before the old man would hear about it and he wasn't about to stop Naruto from having a bit of fun.

"Who do you think will leave first to pick up their costume?" Naruto hissed to the Hokage, who chuckled, knowing that he'd never know if this was a shadow clone without asking Hinata to check his chakra coils.

"Well, I don't know anything, but I can tell you that you are not to leave this place until Joker arrives," the Hokage ordered with a good natured smile as he continued walking Haku in. By the door, he paused and looked at the younger girl, "Haku-chan... are you cold? Your hands are freezing..."

Naruto smirked as he knew exactly the reason for the cold hands was that she was an ice clone. "They usually are... I need to find some heated gloves." Haku answered, the standard response that she had worked out to the comment, which was a half truth. She did use heated gloves in the field, because of how much she manipulated ice, Naruto knew that this one could never wear them without revealing her true form.

"Well, I couldn't find any which matched the costume... Sorry about that," the Hokage responded, indicating he had gotten the message and was ready for what was coming. Now it was time for Naruto to pull a fast one. A quick shadow clone later, and he was still sitting at the desk, waiting for the next person. If anyone had asked, he'd just tell them he sent the clone to get some more ramen.

Miss Freeze joined him moments later, giving him a light kiss on the cheek. "So, Notice anyone beyond you moving towards a window or door?" She asked curiously, under the disguise of the kiss, "I only just arrived after all."

Naruto chuckled as he looked over Miss Freeze's winter onion costume, it was very cute. Looking at the list of invites, he asked, "May I have your name please ma'am?"

"Miss Yuki Freeze, I was invited..." Miss Freeze answered while pointing to her name on the list. Naruto nodded and pointed towards the doorway.

"Thank you, I think you'd like to hang out with Hinata Hyuuga and especially Tenten-" Naruto answered to be once again covered by the sound of the speaker's feedback, "A Mister Joker mentioned knowing her from somewhere..."

The message seemed to have been received as Freeze nodded and waved her farewell, and just as she entered the party, a black latex clad individual in a mango costume peeked her head in. "Hello? Catherine Woah Mahn has arrived..." she stated extending one of her clawed fingers to tap her spot on the list.

"One, How original..." Naruto droned dryly, before saying, "Two, Welcome to the party, only rob those who piss you off."

"See ya cutie!" the woman answered with a slight purr to her voice. It seemed like the party was just about to begin, most of the characters were in place. Now all he had to do was wait for one final arrival before Mr. J could make his grand debut.

His final guest arrived just in the nick of time, wearing an entire cluster of coconuts. "Sorry I'm late, but I got stuck doing detention duty with Konohamaru..." Iruka explained while adjusting the leg holes of the suit.

"You're right on time Iruka-sensei! It's good to see you again... hey I know we're not supposed to talk business... but have you heard anything about my transfer to the academy?" Naruto asked, keeping a careful eye on the location of one Sakura Haruno, who had made the rule about not talking about ninja work at the party. Thankfully, she was on the other side of the room, opposite the thumping speakers from him.

"No Naruto, now just enjoy the party and I won't tell Sakura that you broke her rule," Iruka offered with a kindly smile, that didn't show in his ice cold eyes, telling him that it was more of an order than any that the Hokage could make. With that Iruka left him frozen in his seat better than Haku could ever do. Teachers were powerful shinobi in their own right... and Naruto knew that he never wanted to make that one mad at him again.

Already he wanted to hide all the sugar spoons, but he knew it would do no good. Iruka always found one, and after that he was a dead man.

Checking off a few more faceless nobodies, he decided it was time, and sent out the signal. All it was to crush the ramen cup and toss it into the waste basket next to him. Leaning back in his chair, he made sure he had a prime view for the chaos about to start.

Right in the middle of whatever song was starting, a sanity-quivering laughter cut in, replacing the music with gusto. Anyone that had been around Konoha at all in the past year cringed at the laugh, but only one started twitching. Naruto knew exactly what was going through Sasuke's mind as he stood there twitching violently.

A moment after the laughter began fading from the speakers, a series of smoke bombs exploded in the center of the room, blanking it out. As the smoke cleared another laugh shook those present to the core, this one wasn't nearly as loud as the previous one, but it was more powerful, because it was coming from inside the room itself and not a recording.

There in a pair of banana suits were Harley Quinn and the Joker themselves. "Sorry to slip on in, but I felt this type of entrance was more appealing..." the clown faced man offered with a laugh, getting a giggle from Harley.

"Oh Mista J, you're a riot!" Harley stated before walking over to where Naruto was sitting and leaned forward with a devious smirk. "Harley Quinzel and Joe King."

Naruto blinked a couple times before looking down at the list and finding the names, pulling off the act of being surprised perfectly. "Y...yes ma'am... r...right here..."

"Who the hell put them on the list?" Sasuke demanded angrily as he stormed over to the desk. Naruto turned it over, showing that it was in Sasuke's own handwriting. "I... It's a forgery!"

Joker joined the trio over at the list of invites, glancing over the entire thing a few times before gaining a petulant pout, "Awww you forgot to invite Bruce 'Batsy' Wayne! It's not a party unless he shows up... oh well, guess we'll have to make the most of it! Let's ROCK THIS PLACE!"

The party really kicked into full swing as everyone began to relax around the newly appeared Rogues Gallery, a lot of party games were played, some definitely not set up by Sasuke or Sakura... Well, Who would set up 'Pin The Pig Tail on Ino' and blame it on Sakura? And the Pinata that dropped Sasuke's underwear on his fangirls, that just happened to look like him?

And the Pluck the Cherry game was not the doing of any of the Rogues, and despite making it a challenge, Anko seemed to be having the most fun. Especially since Kurenai was also running defense.

There was just something entertaining about seeing Kurenai full-body tackle Kakashi and Asuma into the walls after all. And beyond that, Anko had just as infective of a laugh as the Joker himself. Sasuke sat in the corner snarling and glaring at the entire party that had gotten largely out of hand.


	13. Chapter 12

The party had been a failure, a true and unimaginable failure. How had that vile clown gotten on the guest list? It had to have been Sakura, she had to be the weak link that allowed his name to be entered in, along with every single rogue that Konohagakure had somehow gained in the past few weeks. Even a few he hadn't known about, like the Green Flasher!

How in blazes did they get on the list so easily? He'd checked the list twice, and they had definitely, somehow, been on the list that was kept securely in a triple-locked safe. That he had checked again a day or two ago. It wasn't until he noticed someone had left a cat-shaped miniature model inside, which exploded and caused the Inuzuka hounds to chase him that he realized it wasn't secure really. Unfortunately for him, he found out that whoever had left the little 'harmless' explosive had laced it with urine from a bitch in heat.

He was going to RIP OUT THEIR THROATS AND SEW THEM IN UPSIDE DOWN FOR THIS! No, he was the hero, the savior of Konoha, he had to be the good guy, the dark knight that stands tall against the injustices of the world. He could put off things like petty revenge for such a noble goal. No matter how much he might want to violate the warranty on several devices by anally inserting them into the perpetrators of these heinous crimes against his personage.

And thus he was brought to a new and startling revelation. With the sheer number of evil ne'er-do-wells in his fair village, he would require an assistant or two to aid him in his crusade against the vile clown and his fellow rogues. But whom could he trust with such a vitally important position as that?

As he sat down to brood, he heard a loud farting sound, and felt a nervous tick beginning to form under his right eye. That cur had dared to use a whoopie cushion against his dignity?

He was so angry, he didn't notice the clone poof out of existence after finishing putting itching powder in all his underwear, 'whoopie cushion' seals on all his chairs and seal arrays containing custard pies behind every cupboard door... and that was just the start.

After all, he was in his sanctuary, his safe haven from the madness of the world. He was in his brooding corner, and that was all that mattered.

Several hours later, a glowering Sasuke arrived at the training grounds, looking at Naruto and Sakura with a glare as feathers dropped off his tar-soaked uniform. "DO NOT... ask." He growled, "I have not had a good day."

Bits of pie crust dripped off his face, as he randomly was scratching himself, when his hand got stuck in that rather compromising position he looked up just in time to get pelted by enough feathers to fill a pillow factory for years. Apparently, someone had played some pranks on him.

Naruto, being the consummate professional prankster he was, had to compliment the person that had pulled off these pranks so masterfully. He was so glad that Harley had volunteered for this run, maybe he ought to pick her up some treats on his way to the meeting tonight.

"I'm sorry I'm late..." Kakashi said, as he arrived, looking like someone had attacked him with a rabid dog or similar, "Some prankster planted a exploding cat in my book collection and caused the Inuzuka hounds to chase and attack me for the last hour."

"You today?" Sasuke groaned, wincing at the memory, "I don't know which person has a cat fetish and a hatred of us, but it's not fun..."

"Sakura-chan! Mark it down! Sasuke-kuuuun said a whole sentence without using 'Hn'!" Naruto gushed dramatically as he faux-swooned towards the rosette. Who promptly slammed her fist into the top of the blonde's head, leaving him cratered into the ground. "Ow..."

"Anyway, We have a mission to fix up the old abandoned old abandoned apartment building on the other side of town, in order for any rogues that are captured doing these misdeeds to be able to be housed in it," Kakashi stated, importantly as the trio of gennin before him all sweatdropped in unison.

"Old abandoned... old abandoned?" Sakura asked in confusion, for Kakashi to look at something off in the distance, his eye misting over with an ancient memory.

"Apparently, it had become old and abandoned, some ANBU recruits were fixing it up, then it became old and abandoned again when those recruits were sent into the field against the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune." Kakashi answered reverently, pointedly not noticing that Naruto squirmed a bit at the mention of ol' foxzilla. "Anyways, it's going to be repaired into the newly minted Arkham Asylum for the Insane and not ninja."

"What about the insane who are ninja?" Naruto asked, flippantly, "Do they get a place too?"

"Sure they do, they get to rent the jounin apartments, or are trained by Maito Gai as his apprentice..." Kakashi answered just as flippantly, giving Naruto an evil eye smile in return. The other two trainees face palmed at the terrible humor the two males were using.

"So by that logic, you yourself are insane, correct?" Naruto asked curiously, while raising his eyebrow in challenge.

"Sometimes, I wonder if we're the creation of a insane moron who should have trusted his instincts the first time," Kakashi muttered, before answering, "Show me someone who is guaranteed sane here."

Naruto simply waved a hand to where Ayume and Teuchi were busy making ramen for the morning crowd, daring Kakashi to refute that.

"Exactly. And they aren't ninja." Kakashi agreed while nodding his head sagely, "All ninja are, to some degree, insane, because we have a death wish."

"What about Iruka-sensei? He seems sane to me..." Sakura asked, a little offended that Kakashi considered her insane, and the voice in her head agreed quite loudly. Yep, not insane at all.

"Sakura, Over time, you'll come to find that there's something about everyone that makes them mentally... different." Kakashi explained..

"Like your pictures of Chouji and his dad in speedos Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto chimed in while looking over the jounin's shoulder into his book.

"YOU BRAT!" Kakashi snapped, the Naruto looking over his shoulder poofing out of existence, "Where is he really? I'm going to kill him!"

"NO NARUTO DON'T USE MY LADLE TO GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES!" Teuchi cried from the ramen stand, cluing the entire crew into where their blond bundle of annoyance was.

"Tch, let's go get the dobe..." Sasuke grumbled as he began marching over to where the two ramen chefs were fighting valiantly to prevent their favorite customer from potentially blinding himself permanently.

Ten minutes later, the group was standing at the base of an old, abandoned, decrepit, partially destroyed building. "Why are we at my apartment?" Naruto asked curiously as he finally got the mental image of Kakashi's fetish flushed from his brain.

"..." Kakashi 'said', his mouth hanging open, as he tried to think about the fact the one place people assumed the Kyuubi had destroyed, but actually just no-one giving a damn had, was Naruto's apartment building. It was about this point that he remembered having visited before, and just how bad the interior was. "We're here to assist Jounin Pennington in renovating the place..."

"Join the massive crowd over there," a man with a boxy object that looked like a photo camera over his shoulder explained, except it had some kind of seal array on it instead of a place for the film.

"Umm... okay... but first, where's my stuff?" Naruto asked curiously as he looked around to find the large crowd leaning against a wrecking ball. "What's that for?"

A brown-haired man walked up to him and handed him a sealing scroll. "Hi, my name's Ty, but you may call me Jounin Pennington. So, this is your house?"

"My apartment building... I have the apartment up on the top floor..." Naruto corrected, pointing to the one section of windows not completely boarded over.

"Well, that scroll contains everything salvageable we found in that place. Most of it is... well... worthless junk, and we actually checked with Sarutobi whether or not you needed some items," Ty explained while patting the diminutive blonde on the top of his head. "Oh, and don't worry about your pet. He's safe! . . . At least I think it was a he..."

"Pet? I don't... unless... no way... you caught the ramen monster from under my bed?" Naruto shouted in surprise as his eyes bugged out of his skull.

"So that's what that was... yeah, he's with some nice scientists..." Ty answered awkwardly before regaining his energy. "Now Naruto, do you know what to say to detonate explosive notes?"

"TENTEN!" Naruto called into the megaphone that had suddenly appeared in front of his face courtesy of the jounin, for the brown-haired trainee to somehow appear at his side with a trail of brown and pink blur following in her wake.

"BAKU!" Tenten screamed, causing the entire building to erupt in a fiery blast, causing most of them to leap out of the path of incoming debris.

Once the smoke had settled, Ty peeked out and looked at his explosives expert worriedly. "I thought you said it would be safe?"

"That was not the explosives yield we were expecting." The expert half-muttered worriedly as he rechecked his notes, "Somehow, the girl amplified the explosive yield of the notes with her cry..."

"Isn't she wonderful when she obliterates?" he declared proudly while wiping away a sham tear from his eye. Tenten just walked away from the rubble with a smug grin.

"My work's done here! Now to see if Gai-sensei will let me use explosives in the field..." she declared while practically skipping along the way back towards her training ground. Ty and the expert both looked dumb-struck, the cameraman looking at the departing figure worriedly.

"I thought those two special jounin I worked with last were bad..." The cameraman declared, "She... she's lethal."

"You haven't seen her around sharp things yet..." Naruto commented as he shuddered at the memory. "Sparring against her is always intense."

"Anyway, let's get together the build team and make it HAPPEN!" Ty said, regaining his energetic persona after the shock of such a massive demolition occurred, several large sealing scrolls being unpacked from a truck as they began clearing away the debris, the cameraman putting his camera down to help.

While everyone else was busy, a familiar white face appeared on the broadcast feed and smiled widely into it. "Hey there folks! I just wanna say I love the new place you're making me!"

"Some joker's hacked the feed!" a man called from a large truck to one side of the demolition area, several odd objects sticking out of the top.

"No, no, no, not a joker, THE JOKER!" the clown faced man called back with a ear splitting laugh as the feed cut off and they were no longer sending for broadcast.

"Running commercials, we'll keep it in," they grumbled, resigned to the fact they couldn't edit him out.

"Aww... I just wanna say my thanks, and give a little cutie a kiss..." Joker whined as he set the camera he'd hijacked down and walked towards the trio of trainee ninjas, looking completely outta place with his huge grin.

"My name's Ty Pennington, so, Mr. Joker. You're one of the people who this place is being renovated for?"

"You bet your buttons Penny-boy!" Joker called out proudly as he slung an arm over the brunette's shoulders, "Say, can I get my room done up like the Bat-cave?"

"No," Ty answered, directing him towards the designers, "You can however tell them what you'd like your apartment to be like, and hopefully, they'll be able to provide. We cannot however offer anything that could be used to leave the facility or that is someone else's property."

"Ohhhhhh!" Joker gasped as he stopped dead in his tracks. "Then I want a mural of Harley, Catgirl, and a few other girls doing the horizontal mambo!"

Ty was quietly thankful they were on commercial, since it was just before the watershed where they broadcast to. This was going to be a difficult build... not helped by his boss screaming, "GET THIS HARLEQUIN OUT OF THE PRODUCTION TRUCK!"

"Aww... But all the commercials you're broadcasting are so boring..." Harley whined as she was shoved out of the truck, "What's the point of watersheds?"

"Well my prrrrrretty mistrrrress... they are fun to loop arrrround..." a cat-eared woman purred from on top of the production truck with a proud smirk. "As in this is going out live."

"So... Those guys in there are meant to bleep out whatever bad language we use and cut away when Joker uses lewd language until... 9pm in some country several days journey away?" Harley half-read, looking at a piece of paper, "That sucks. Well, go call the rogues. We've got a design team to terrorize."

Ty suddenly realized that the people handling the pre-watershed censorship would be having a very bad time of this. Thankfully, the reveal WAS after 9pm, as he heard Harley and the catgirl talking about a dungeon.

"CATWOMAN!" the black clad feline fetish model shouted as though reading his mind. "Get it right! Or I won't tell you that the censors are all sleeping right now!"

"Damn," Ty summed up neatly, as the cameraman picked up his camera since the last of the rubble was cleared, counting down from 5, "Just don't film Catwoman until the watershed's passed."

It probably didn't help that directly behind Ty's back, Kakashi was reading a familiar orange book, while the Joker was regaling Sasuke with a magazine with a fold out center showing a woman that seemed to burst from the page. In fact one might suggest she had her 'bursts' done.

A few hours later, Ty Pennington left Konohagakure, his head in his hands, and telling Sarutobi that he was thankful they only needed him once to deal with the rogues. His production company was threatening court action if they had to deal with so much rampant breaching of the watershed again.

The good news for Konohagakure was that Arkham Asylum was completed. The bad news however, was that the rogues had effectively designed the facilities for each of them themselves, rather than the planned method, which would have involved padded rooms.

Only one room was full of restraints and items of torture, and Harley and Catwoman didn't care one bit about the fact, since they asked for that. Naruto also now had a new apartment a few feet up the road, well, more a small house that Ty had built as his secret project, since he'd fled the site after an hour.

In fact, it was Naruto's clones that had done all the work on the new Asylum. All the others rushed over to help Ty with his secret project, save for the camera men, who hid in the production truck as the broadcast was taken over by the rogues. Made especially worse by Harley, Joker, and Catwoman's color commentary often falling into the lewd categories.

Another disaster in the life of Konohagakure, all thanks to their friendly neighborhood rogues.


End file.
